As the Sister of the Guy Who Won't Call You Back

I am writing this after fighting with my brother about you. I don't know you, I don't know what you look like, I sometimes don't even know your name. He might refer to you as the bar you met him in, the city you are from, or some distinctive physical feature you have, nevertheless I'm here vouching for you.

There are many of you. Sometimes I keep count, sometimes I don't. Today, I'm here to talk about Panama, or at least that's what he calls you.

You have to understand, you fell for my brother, an unattached, selfish, a little into himself, sometimes lazy, second-born, man. Don't get me wrong, we were born 1 year and 3 months apart and that's the furthest we'll ever be from each other. Half of my heart is linked to his and there is nothing I wouldn't do for him, yet I wouldn't set him up with any of my closest friends.

My brother is that 6' 2" hot guy in class who does not care. It's not that he plays the part, he literally does not care and you know this, because he probably told you the first time you spoke. Which brings me back to, why do I even defend you?

As a woman, who fell for one or two assholes, I learned to detect the first glimpse of red flag being displayed on the mast. I've learned to block numbers, erase conversations, anything to avoid being looked at with pity. The way I look at you after he shows me your texts.

So this is an open letter to Panama and all the girls who are called after a bar, city or feature:

If a guy tells you who he is or what he wants on day one, that's what you'll get. There is no changing him; there is no saving him. If you agree to bed before dates, don't expect breakfast in bed.

Did you really think that all the daily sleepovers you invited him to were the key to saving him? Now he won't call you back, he won't take you to dinner and you're mad. But bottom line is he’s intentions won’t change just because yours did, he’s willingness to not date you remain the same, even though you think you have a plan.

He shows me your text messages, your violent outbursts and he wishes you had stuck to your deal.

I still fight with him, because he was cruel and said some hurtful things to you, but does the story really have to end with you demanding more and creating a dramatic scenario if you agreed to his nightly visits? You point out how he doesn't introduce you to his friends, as if his friends even knew about you.

As the sister of the guy who won't call you back, I know exactly why he doesn't. My question is, why did you ever give him your phone number or agree to his terms? As his sister, I will fight with him, because he talks to you in a way no woman should be spoken to. As his sister, I will make him see a side of you he might have not seen, and as his sister I will teach him to understand women and even make him apologize for his words. But as the sister of the guy who won't call you back, I wish that all of you would learn to love yourselves, to understand your worth, to respect your time. If you did, you wouldn't be demanding love from a guy that hasn't learned how to give it yet.