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Astro-Ship

Bonds that Are Written in the Stars

By Jay WilliamsPublished 5 years ago 19 min read
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"When Capricorn and Pisces form a friendship, it's a union of opposite natures attracting. Capricorn is practical and down to earth, scrupulous and possessed of a strong work ethic. Pisces is very spiritual and dreamy, taking on the needs and concerns of those around them. These friends together form a sincere and devoted pair, and both have good morals. They admire each other. Capricorn likes Pisces' ephemeral and kind nature, and Pisces appreciates Capricorn's quick mind and tenacity. This is a friendship that may take time to develop, but it will grow stronger and closer (Horoscope).

She absolutely hated me. She couldn’t stand me. This is what Taylor would say if the topic of how we became friends came up. Had we gone to pre-school together, I would’ve been the kid who colored things abstractly while she had to color everything by the book. Her sunflower was sunshine yellow with a forest green stem. My sunflower was ruby red with a light blue stem. We would show each other our pictures and she would proudly declare that hers was right and all the reasons why. Fortunately, we didn’t go to the same elementary school, middle school or even high school. However, we did have two things in common. We went to Slippery Rock University and we were pledging the same sorority in SRU; Gamma Sigma Sigma National Service sorority.

At the informational meeting of Spring 2007, I didn’t pay much attention to everyone who would be in my pledge class. I was more worried about the upcoming process I was getting myself into with regards to getting into the sorority. After the induction ceremony, I began mingling with the other pledges. There I was, a freshman, trying to establish myself in a new atmosphere. The only friends I had were those whose personalities matched that my own. Becoming friends with Taylor Sabo wasn’t in the plans.

One of our service events required us to go to Duquesne University, a place I’d never been to before. The sisters were pairing up drivers and passengers. To be sure everyone had a spot in a car for the trip. By now, I knew just about everyone in my pledge class by face and name yet I didn’t have a very personal relationship with them. It was a Saturday, around eight in the morning when most of the sisters began arriving at the University Union. We sat on the curb waiting for everyone to arrive until a red, Mitsubishi Eclipse cruised right into the parking lot and a blonde-haired girl jumped out of the driver’s seat.

“She’s here,” Tracy said.

I looked up to see that it was Taylor. I never really noticed her until now because she always sat in the back of the meetings; whereas I was in the front. She was much shorter than I thought but what really caught my attention was her car. It was shiny as if she had just picked it up at the detailers before coming to the Union. After a few minutes, everyone was getting into their cars and it just so happened that I ended up in Taylor’s. Before that time, I had seen her at many Gamma Sig events. We even took pictures at the big sister/little sister dinner. There was just never any real interaction. We never had conversations about who we were and what we were about. She was just too quiet for my taste. Yet, as I was looking at her that morning, something told me otherwise. There was just something about her that made me want to break into her quiet, passive shell.

As we made the hour and a half trip to Pittsburgh, there were moments of silence. Uncertainty surrounded us like a blanket. We didn’t know what to talk about or what to ask each other. I was still in amazement that a sophomore in college could afford a car like this one.

“How much did you pay for the car?” I asked, after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

“$8,000.00,” she said, staring at the road.

“Damn, where did you get the money for that?”

“I got a $13,000.00 trade-in on my other car. My dad haggled for me.”

My theory had been correct. In the back of my mind, she was someone that had everything that she could ever want. She had parents, or at least a parent, that pampered her with wonderful things like new cars. I figured she was better off and didn’t have to work for anything; a life that I had always wished for my own family. Again, I sat quietly until we arrived in the city of Pittsburgh, another place that I had never seen yet it reminded me a lot of Philly. By this time, we had only made very little conversation. We made small talk about what we would be doing for the service project once we arrived or comments about the song that came on the radio. It was a lot like the first day of pre-school. We were trying to figure each other out.

One of the older sisters, Patti Anderson, was driving and we were to follow her to the final destination. In a line, every sister was following one another, while we headed up the rear.

“Now, where do we go?” she asked, waiting at a stop light.

“I don’t know, just follow the car in front of us.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

In reality, I didn’t know if the car in front of us was Patti's anymore because at a previous stop, a car that looked like hers turned right and we turned left. Already nervous about being in a car with a girl that I didn’t know very well and being in a city that was new to me, I figured, “What's the worst that can happen?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said with confidence

It wasn’t until we drove the same road a couple of times that we realized we were lost. We turned onto a street that resembled the “Brick Yard” in Philly, the “ghetto” section of the city.

“What are we going to do now? I don’t want to be in the ghetto,” she declared.

I looked at her, realizing for the first time that this was new to her. There were already so many new experiences that day we had, why not add another? I was used to being in places like the big cities. She was a small-town girl from Johnstown. To ease her conscience, I said the only thing I could, knowing that it would either make or break this situation.

“Don’t worry, I’m black. I’ll protect you.”

Laughter. Laughter always eases an uncomfortable situation. This situation was no different. She laughed and we slowly felt the awkward tension begin to dissolve. Eventually, we got back on the road; but not until we made nicknames for each other. Gangsta and Hood; G and Hood for short. We always confused ourselves on who was who. Either way, it changed everything from that day forward.

Over the semester, we learned more and more about each other, outside of our sorority. I learned that most of my preconceived notions about her were wrong. We always ended up at Keister Apartments with some of the other sisters we had become close with as well and indulged in the guilty pleasures of drinking. Even in a drunken stupor, we would argue about little things such as, “Why does it matter where I sit?” These fights only lasted about 30 seconds. After those 30 seconds, we would laugh and talk about something else. At the time, I didn’t know how close of a friend she would become but knowing that she also wanted to see where this relationship was going to go made the adventure that more exciting.

Capricorn will be able to anchor Pisces providing needed grounding from time to time. Pisces has a tendency to drift off, gazing out the window, becoming lost in their visualization. Capricorn gently brings them back down to earth, creating a solid substance (Daily Horoscopes).

In school, everything was centered on what was going to happen in the real world and what can be accomplished after spending the last 12 years in an educational setting. My setting was much different then Taylors'. Nine of those 12 years were spent in a boarding school called Milton Hershey, whereas she spent the typical 12 years in a public school setting. As a child, I have always had problems with speech and it wasn’t until I enrolled in that school where my speech and psychological needs were met. Taylor, on the other hand, was diagnosed in first grade and medicated until third grade. She stopped taking her medication until her senior year of high school when her doctor put her back on it. I never imagined someone like her to have an imperfection as this one. If you were to look at Taylor, you would probably think she was the popular girl in high school, homecoming queen. Everyone wanted to be friends with her and everyone wanted to be her. And she was. Routinely, twice a day, she took her Adderall and be what an attentive student would be. We were sitting in the Eisenberg Communication Building parking lot, looking out at the trees and grass that surrounded Slippery Rock High schools. If we had time to kill, we would sit in the car and either talk, sleep or simply look at the amazing artwork God had created. This particular day, we sat back and listened to the mix CD that she created, mixed with rock and rap.

“So, what would happen if you didn’t take your medicine?”

She put down the generic juice pouch she was drinking and smiled, “I wouldn’t focus.”

Before meeting her, I thought that she had everything together. Judging on how she kept her car, she was organized. I thought that she had a family that would have huge Christmas parties with other families or had tea-parties. When she told me that she had ADHD, it put my preconceived notions to rest. She was like everyone else, someone that had flaws; some that are more major than most.

“What do you mean not focused?”

“Once, I didn’t take my Adderall and I was out in the garden with my mom.” She started, “I don’t know what I was doing but my mom gave me hedge clippers and I wasn’t paying attention. She somehow got my attention and I accidentally cut off her finger with the clippers.”

I wasn’t amazed that she had a garden at her house but the most interesting yet amazing thing about the story was that her mom didn’t go ballistic or yell at her. She picked up everything and went to the hospital. Taylor, on the other hand, apologized repeatedly as if second nature. Occasionally, she would go at least two hours without taking it and I saw another side of her. The-child-that-wants to-know-what’s-going-on-around-her-no-matter-the-order Taylor. That side, made me laugh or made me wonder. What’s wrong with acting like a child when you are an adult? Selfishly, I wanted to be like Taylor when she’s not on her “kill-joy” pills. She’s a child again; ready to bring terror into the world or ask childish questions like, “Why is the sky blue?” Instead of thinking about when the next paper is going to be due in class or why in the world do we have to stand in front of a large crowd full of people and present a speech.

The first time I walked into Taylor’s room, it was something out of a home and garden magazine. Her room reminded me of what I would have liked for my room to be, minus the over-amount of the color pink. Everything was strategically placed, according to the amount of space; yet everything told a story. Poster of Disney princesses showed me that at one time, imagination flew wildly in her head and on occasions those imaginations would appear. Happily ever after did at one time exist. Pictures of her friends and family establishing an unbreakable bond between her and the one she’s in the picture with. Memories captured in color. I wanted to be part of her memories, not be flushed away like a has-been. Like a friend moving away, never to be heard from again. What sparked my attention was the poster-size of the underdog princess. Tinkerbell. My hidden vice.

“Oh my gosh, I love Tinkerbell.”

“So do I!” she said as she continued to type on the computer why she wasn’t going to the Gamma Sig meeting that night.

As I looked at the poster, my mind wandered back to when fairies existed. That losing a baby tooth would summon for them to come and reward with American dollars or cents. I figured that her parents allowed her to think that those things were real. My grandmother, on the other hand, let me know from the very age of two that reality shouldn’t be given to the object of imagination.

“I’m the Easter bunny, Santa clause, the tooth fairy, and everything else in between. I’d be damned to give someone else credit for the money I worked for.” She told me.

Seeing posters that would be in a room of a child under the age of ten, in 20-year-olds only shows that her childhood is still present, living through colors that are only associated with youth. I couldn’t understand why everyone WANTED to grow up. If there was the option to be like Peter Pan and stay like a child; would they take them? Some days, I thought that if that option was presented, adults would admit themselves to the local mental institution. Other days, I think that many would wish that they could have the same innocent and care-free attitude liked Taylor.

Although Capricorn is not often demonstrative of emotional expression, they will be there for the long haul once Pisces has made them feel secure in the relationship (Daily Horoscopes).

The unfairness about life. It allows your heart and mind to be open to everything. Like an open-wound. Easily accessible to infections. Adults have to stay strong, put on a brave face and continue with the day. Dealing with their vulnerability at a different time. From the very moment of birth, we are vulnerable to things that could shape or scare us. Sometimes, may come in an untimely manner. Like the outbreak of chicken pox. There isn’t a number of children’s vitamins or orange juice to relieve the itching that chicken pox brings.

I had just come back to school for the summer, a summer which consisted of working at my favorite store, Barnes and Noble and I was going to enjoy everything that the summer would bring. Nice heat. Philly infamous water ice. And the strong, muscular shirtless men that would drive on Kawaski Ninja bikes. I wasn’t expecting to lose my grandmother the day before Memorial Day. I wasn’t ready to watch the only person that was my strong foundation, go into the ground forever. If you could imagine, I was in shambles. No way was I ready to go back to school in August. It wasn’t enough time. Somehow, I got on the train and headed back towards school. Taylor already knew. She extended her arms and embraced me once I got in my new apartment.

“I’m not the touchy-feely type.” She used to tell me after I would hug her.

Thinking that I could move on from the loss of my mother, at times would seem impossible. Little things would remind me of her, and waiting for her to call and tell me how much she loved me was more painful than getting stung by a bee in the eyes in second grade. Ice and a popsicle can relieve the pain, temporarily but the feeling was still there. I would sit in her room and cry. Let the tears fall and the shorten breath fill the air. Taylor would frown and sit next to me, comforting me.

“She’s in a better place. We’ll see her again soon.” She told me, reminding me about the faith that she had in God.

I didn’t want to believe it. I blamed God for taking my mom so early. I wanted her to be around for my kids. To see me walk down the aisle, if possible, give me away to the one I chose to marry. Whenever I felt that I want to give up everything that I’ve worked towards or act in a way that’s not normal, Taylor would tell me, “What would your mom think?” or “If your mom was here…” to get me back on track. Even then, some glimpse of my mom would go through my mind and I would hear what she would say at that current situation. Every doubt or frustration that went, I remember what she told me. She’s in a better place and we’ll see her soon.

Taylor never cried. Never shed a tear. I waited for that opportunity to see that side of her. We have had deep conversations, revealed our deepest secrets plenty of time; no matter how painful yet her composure was still the same; deep-thinker yet expressionless. As if there was a concrete wall blocking any opportunity to see that side of her. I would kid around and say, “I wonder if you even have a heart or even a soul for that matter.” She would get mad or laugh so hard that she wouldn’t catch her breath but tears never came.

We were sitting in her car, waiting to find out what time we needed to get to Butler, Pennsylvania to tutor inner-city kids. We were laughing until her phone rang a familiar tone.

“Hello?”

I was too busy wondering if little Brittany was there or Little Veronica took of her acrylic nails when I heard sniffles.

“Yeah, I’ll be ok.” Her voice trembled.

After she said goodbye, I saw her put her phone in the cup carrier. The CD she currently played was Thriving Ivory, “Angels on the Moon.” One particular verse stood out, “Don’t tell if I’m dying, cause I don’t wanna know.”

“I can’t listen to that right now.” She said as she turned the song to another.

I looked over and her eyes were filled with gathering tears, waiting to make their exit down her face.

“Is everything okay?” I asked

She sniffled, “Call Alyssa and tell her that I can’t drive today.”

“Ok.”

“If she asked why, tell her that there was a death in the family.” She said, wiping away her tears.

A loss. Something closer to home. As I called Alyssa, I couldn’t help notice that she would attempt to gather her composure, only to be hit again with the reality that someone close to her was gone—like I had seven months prior. We turned into the parking lot, in front of our complex and sat. There was nothing but silence between us. Not like the first day when we were in the car heading to Pittsburgh but a silence that was meant for a church. I gave her a hug, and she accepted it, sniffling a bit more; trying not to let more tears fall.

“It’ll be okay.”

We walked into the apartment and sat down on the futon and stared at the wall. Stared in space, being absent in our minds. I occasionally would hear her sniffle, turn to see that she was still hurting. I never left her side. Our roommate, Anna came and asked the obvious question of what’s wrong and Taylor told her that her grandfather had passed. Anna gave her condolences and went back into her room. I didn’t understand nor grasps the fact that her demeanor didn’t fit the situation. It wasn’t like Taylor’s dog ran away or that she lost a bracelet. Her grandfather was gone. I didn’t have the energy to be mad. No, I rather stay where I was. As support. Her shoulder to cry on.

Eventually, her boyfriend came and sat down next to her. There we were, Tyler on the left and me on the right; silence. There was no reason to say anything. Her supports were her foundation. She could get through anything with the help from people that loved her.

“I have to go and let Min and Lyssa know what happened.” She said, getting up and walked towards her room.

Taylor was the second-born. The strongest of the three sisters. Taking assertiveness of the situation. Like me, telling my brother who was two hours away that his grandmother, the only women that he’d knew and loved had died. I’ll never forget that she held my hand. I had seen her vulnerable side. She allowed me to see that she too, knew what sadness was. Beyond the fun-times that we created, like playing make-believe. She knew what it felt like to come back to grips of reality. She could feel the pain of loss like everyone else. Her wall had came down and she had allowed me in. That’s where I knew that our relationship was solid. We were two kids again, comforting each other; saying that everything will be okay.

This is a friendship that may take time to develop, but it will grow stronger and closer (Daily Horoscope).

The sun is high. Higher than what it would normally be for the month of April. We are outside of our apartment complex, next to the volleyball court; tanning. Looking at me, you would know that I don’t have any use for the UV rays since my complexion shows decades of being in the sun. I just wanted to see what it felt like to "tan." I’m studying Spanish, but am sidetracked by listening to music and having conversations with her. I’m not living with her next year, which is the basis of the conversation. Though this didn’t fit well with my plans for the upcoming year, I understood.

“It doesn’t matter," she told me, “I’m sure you’ll be over my house. Plus, we have three classes together.”

“But, it’s not the same.” I playfully whined.

She laughed and said, “Shut up.”

Things aren’t the same, which is what time intended. Our relationship progressively changed, morphed into something beautiful. We are a year older, a year wiser. Things changed in a year but in the end, the changes have made us closer. We have laughed, we have cried, we’ve been mad at each other. I’ve shown her my world as she has shown me hers. Similarities cause our worlds to be on the same astrological plane. Her Neptune coincides with my Saturn, balancing my earth with her water. Pieces and Capricorn… Who would have thought?

friendship
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About the Creator

Jay Williams

Just a young woman who writes freely, from the mind...holding nothing back.

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