August 20
That Time I Knew I Was Going to Fall in Love
I've loved and I've lost. I think everyone can say that! It's so true though. Just a year ago I thought I wanted to be with someone forever. I knew it was because I was scared to let go with the fear of being alone, but when I did let go I felt like the whole world was off my shoulders. I felt the sudden need to feel happier, to look happier, smile more, even go out. That relationship changed me. It changed me for the better. I spent time finding myself just like everyone does after a brutal breakup. I guess it wasn't that brutal, but it felt like it. The endless name-calling, the blaming, the going to meet up for dinner to talk it out, but he brings his cousin and makes it awkward. It was horrible! I wanted to cry so hard, but I was done crying. I felt miserable but was also happy at the same time.
Finally, one day I decided to say fuck it and just forgot about it all together because I wasn't going to let him ruin me. I partied like any other teenager would. I made out with strangers like any other teenager would. I also had one night stands like any other teenager would. I was living my life for the first time ever drama-free. I lived for hanging with my friends, bonfires, boat days, sneaking some drinks, and just laughing with them! I was happy! I was happy alone and nothing was getting in my way of that. I liked to be independent. Then after all that soul searching, after finding myself, after a few flings, I thought I was ready to share this life with someone. I wasn't going to just jump into anything; I wanted to wait and see what would happen. Whose soul I would connect with? Like any other teenager, Snapchat was my thing. This cute guy would snap me and I would snap back then the conversation would be over. It was boring. I hated boring. Then we saw each other at a party, I gave him a hug and talked for a minute then left because I thought he was boring. After that, we saw each other at a party on the lake, he hugged me. We talked and I interrupted and said: "I need a beer." So we walked up to the boat, he grabbed me one, we talked for a second then I stole the beer and left him clueless. I was bored. We talked again on Snapchat one day and he wanted me to come over, he told me to turn around to come back to his house so I did. Little did I know that was probably the best decision of my life. We laughed and talked, watched TV, and acted like we knew each other forever. I wasn't bored. I was happy. Happy I was smiling. When I was leaving he kissed me, then slammed my door in my face and I was so shocked i didn't know what to do. I was so nervous he wasn't going to text me but he did. Ever since then we have been together. I'm never bored. It's just funny how a toxic relationship can change you for the better. The whole time I wasn't bitter. I wanted to be the bigger person. Look where it got me. I stole his beer and he stole my heart. I'm happy I turned around. I'm happy I'm with someone that feels like home. You can have it too; your time will come, I promise.
About the Creator
Felicity Dyess
so in love with myself and my life - that is all.
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