Autie Buttons

To the Woman Who Took My Place…

Seven years, two months, eighteen days, four hours, twenty minutes, forty-five seconds…. that was how long he said he loved me. Three years, two months, eighteen days, four hours, twenty minutes, forty-five seconds… that was how long he chose to let the world believe we were happily married. Let me believe we were happily married. I will never deny that times were hard, but never did I believe he would do what he did to me all because of you. The catalyst, the newer, shiner, prettier, laid-back beauty that is you. You gave him the reason to walk away, to throw in my face all of the things I gave him that he took for granted. You replace me and yet, you will never be me. In an effort to spare my soul, I write you, I forgive you, I wish you well, and I continue to believe that maybe you are what he needs to change. Maybe you will make him a man. Make him someone who never lies, would never dare be selfish, who for a change wants what someone else wants. Someone who gives equally, who loves just as wholly and deeply as the other. Maybe you will be his inspiration, his muse, and his desire. He tells me I never had it, whatever it may be. I gave him the world, any request, I fought to make it happen, I put my life and desires aside for his happiness and well-being. My one-sided love. My mistake. His flourishing. His escape. His discovery of you. And so all I do is hope for you, and pray you do not fall into the same downward spiral. I hope you really have changed him. Maybe you are the one.