Giovanni Medrano
Bio
A musician from San Antonio
Currently playing bass in What? The City Bears!
Stories (2/0)
Love When You Least Expect It
They say when you stop looking love seems to find its way towards you. This is a statement I have struggled with for as long as I've been interested in romance. From the early stages of adolescence I romanticized love to the extent where I felt I could love like no one else in the world. Unfortunately I never had the chance to experience anything so glorious until later on in life. I used to be extremely shy and still happen to be. I always felt strange in my own skin and whenever I was able to become romantically linked with someone they just never felt quite right. I felt as if I had to walk on eggshells to stop myself from cracking the relationship. From being abused to feeling strange, it all felt so wrong. After a while the relationships seemed to start proving to me that maybe I wasn't meant for love. Maybe I was meant to die alone. This in itself definitely served a purpose. In convincing myself that I was destined to die suffering and alone I pushed myself into music to an extreme.
By Giovanni Medrano6 years ago in Humans
The Paradox of Finding Your True Purpose
For most of my life I have always wondered, "What am I doing here?" What is the meaning of this existence? This is a succinct summation for the human condition. The necessity of a reason has been a splinter in my psyche leading to a number of ups and downs. Some of us are lucky enough to be exposed to the numerous ideologies in the world such as Nihilism or the various religions to fall back on and explain our existence, but there are always those who are perpetually tortured in not knowing how to live. As far back as I could remember, I felt immense heartache at times and as my childhood progressed, I experienced a few traumatizing events such as a mother suffering from an addiction. Struggling with a kind of depression or even a depressive mindset sets you in a sludge. Through the years, the cycles would become normalized, leading to immense apathy and disdain for existence itself. In my mind, however, there's also a struggle to find a sense of meaning and belonging that says to compromise and to try and find the things that could possibly bring joy not only to myself but others, as well. I wanted to pull myself out of these cycles of immense misanthropy and be useful as well as happy.
By Giovanni Medrano6 years ago in Beat