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Do you look around you and realize that there are so many people getting married? Or having honeymoon babies? And can't shake the fact that they just graduated high school a year ago?
In psychology there is a term for this, it's called "social time clock," which means, there a social time frame where we "SHOULD" be accomplishing our major life milestones. One of which is marriage. In society we create this stigma that either people need to get married when they finish secondary education and make at least six figures a paycheck. Or on the side many religious groups say if you do not get married by 25 then something is hands down wrong with you.
I'm here to talk about both experiences. I was 20 years old when I got married. Many people are either thinking that I'm insane, or even saying that maybe I got knocked up, etc. or since if you can't tell that I am a member of the LDS church, it's probably because I wanted to have sex right away and couldn't "control my hormones." I've heard every question/statement in the book such as: "Are you gonna finish college? You're making a huge mistake, you haven't experienced life, you're too young, he's older than you."
Let me clear this up for you guys who are curious little bodies as well..
- I am finishing my bachelors degree in 2 years ahead of most people who are my age.
- I did make a mistake.
- I have experienced 20 years of life (I did not know that you had to experience your whole life start to finish without being married).
- I am young, but who gives a crap?
- Yes, he is older, thank you for pointing that out.
Although, you can think what you want to think I would have gotten married even earlier.
What? Married even earlier? Yes, I would. What stopped me? It was because I was scared out of my mind. I was in terrible abusive relationships before my marriage (I will talk about that in another article), which played a huge part of where I had commitment issues, issues with intimacy, and you can probably guess the rest. Despite all these things, I went through with the wedding and got married.
Now you're thinking what does this have to do with age? Well, I'm gonna talk about one of the main pro of getting married so young in my eyes.
Honestly, the best thing in the world is knowing that I am learning about life and growing with my best friend. I get to be able to be molded and shaped into a better person. When we are older, we are very set in our ways, we had time to get to get to know ourselves, and even time to maybe live by ourselves. I'm not saying that if you are older you can't change, but it's a dream come true for me. I am able to share the special moments of my life such as graduating college in a few short months, someone I get to see me fail after a test I took, but able to comfort me while I cry and think that I'm the dumbest person alive. I get to celebrate the day that my husband graduate medical school and know that I was there by his side, cheering him on even when the days get tough. But hands down what I love the most, is failing with him, seeing that we only have $10 in our bank account because we don't have jobs, and wondering when we will get money again.
Many of you are probably thinking I am crazy for loving these things. I love failing with my husband but later being able to triumph in our success and our hard work together to get not only where we want, but where God wants us as well.
So, whether you get married at 18 or 50, moral of the story... Who gives a crap when you get married. All you need is love, support, and to try to grow with each other. Regardless the age, you can always learn something new from someone.