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Because Their Expectations Are Not What You Need to Focus On

Gender archetypes

I can't say that I understand what women go through, but as a dude who dates dudes, I can say that I understand the expectation that guys have had for me: to be smooth all over, have my hair and outfit perfect, keep my skin 100% blemish free, put out — all the time — or risk losing their interest.

I can similarly say that I understand what it feels like to be expected to find the right man and basically become "the wife" because as some may know, generally the bottom in the relationship — when it comes to two guys dating — has long been considered "the girl."

Now I personally don't pretend that either my boyfriend or I are "the man" or "the woman" because I think that stereotypes and stigmas are stupid. Equality all around has always been my interest, for everyone. When it comes to race, sexuality, gender, or whatever, everyone should get equal opportunities and not be assumed into a certain role.

It's no secret that women have had to fight for a lot of things which they should've had from the start — like equal wages, being powerful in their own right without being mocked or shunned, and to live their lives the way they want to. 

When I hear that a guy thinks it's a joke that a woman wants to be in the seat of power, I wonder how small his dick must be that he's so threatened by her skills. Similarly, because of my own stature and interests — and again because I like to date dudes that are taller and bigger than I am —I'm assumed to be weak, unable to handle myself in trying situations, and that my man will "take care of me."

I've never had an interest in letting someone take care of me, or handle things that I should be handling. Sure, it would be nice if all of my worries vanished, but I am never going to be a house wife. 

I am going to find my own success, and not depend on him to pay my way. I'm not going to stay home and clean. I'd rather be in control of my own businesses, and hire someone to clean. If, God forbid, something were to happen to my significant other tomorrow, I want to be secure and able to take care of myself. I hate the idea of being at the mercy of someone else.

I like seeing women be that same level of boss. When I am reminded of figures like Beyoncé, Madonna, Oprah, Ellen, Lady Gaga, Michelle Obama, Anna Wintour, and so many others, who remind me that anyone can be anything they want to be. Sure our struggles may differ, but regardless of what we are faced with, the ones who succeed are the ones who say no to convention, and do it their way.

I also like seeing people who break the so-called "rules" and further prove my last point, like Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Leonardo da Vinci, Mohammed Ali, Gandhi, Ian McKellen and countless others. These people say "I'm not going to follow your plan for me or your rules," in the way they conduct themselves.

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Because Their Expectations Are Not What You Need to Focus On
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