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Befriending the Opposite Gender... Yes, No, Maybe So? (Part II)

Romantic feelings, at some point, may replace your friendly feelings. Unfortunately, the evolution of these feelings implies—a significant change...

Having a friend of the opposite gender is just amazing. They are those people you can share almost anything you want with, but mostly your romantic life, and you can ask for advice regarding dates and vice versa.

Indeed, it is the kind of ideal relationship when both are on the same wavelength, and do not expect anything else from each other. That being said, if you feel a deep attraction when you see that soon-to-be-friend for the first time in your life, but decide to ignore that sign anyway, it opens the doors to a well confused and frustrating friendship in the future. It might not be the case for everybody, but let's say I meet Chris Evans, I know I can't be friends with him, because he's... well, because he's Chris Evans, voilà! And guess who bought the last Men's Journal volume this morning? 

On that note, fantasizing about a friend is kind of a situation you wish you would never go through, because you first convince yourself you have no right to do so—Hello human nature! But what you barely think of is the situation where everything ends up working well—and before giving up, and assuming you will never ever get anything with that friend of yours, you should think about it twice.

That thought shows up when romantic feelings, at some point, have replaced your friendly feelings. Unfortunately, the evolution of these feelings implies a significant change—The beginning of the end of your "only" friendship.

Your friend might be in any situation; single, in a relationship, engaged, or even married, this doesn't matter. It won't change what your heart tells you, because you do know you can't have complete control over your feelings—and it would be too easy if you could prevent them.

Alas, you are a human being, and dealing with your emotions is part of life. The truth is, love may appear at any corner, and when you read any corner, it means a.n.y.c.o.r.n.e.r. You don’t plan when you feel it, and more importantly, you don't plan with whom you feel it.

Thus, your "new"—maybe not so new—romantic feelings won’t go away with time, and this mainly occurs if you and your buddy are used to spending time together. It doesn't mean you have to stop seeing them, but you should keep in mind it's next to impossible to consider someone you are falling for—just as a friend.

Communication is the key tool, and you should know that very well. You need to talk to them, and be honest with them. Your pal loves you anyway, and has the right to know what is going on with you. Do not be afraid of speaking up, you need to clarify the situation, and do this quickly enough to cut off any pain, and any sadness soon enough. But then, what might happen?

Maybe they have the same feelings toward you, but are good at hiding them as well—which means, you know you should start something else if this is the situation. Taking the plunge may be a risk, but not taking it is even riskier: missing a big love, if not the big love. Need a better example? Love Rosie on Netflix is a pretty good one.

On the other hand, if your friend doesn't share the same opinion, yes, it's heartbreaking, it’s disappointing, and it's painful. However, you finally know if it's essential to bury your feelings, and move on with your life.

Depending on the situation, it's up to you to act the way you want to act, and you should always make the decision that makes you feel the most comfortable. You need to pick the option that helps you to feel better. Nevertheless, the main rule is as simple as it is complicated: you should always follow your gut. Always...


Writing: Mathilde Clemence Personne

Photo Credit: Chris Hullett

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