Being a Transman in the Working World

One of the biggest issues I have faced when it comes to starting a new job is contemplating on even asking my employer to go by my preferred name. I have yet to legally change my name, however, my birth name is gender neutral so there is no confusion if I go by it. I usually hesitate on disclosing my preferred name because I pass as a cis male on any given day. I hate to explain why I wish to go by another name other than the one on my ID, so I usually just keep it to myself and move along.

Then we have the busybodies who try and nose their way into everyone's business. Almost every time I start a new job, within a few days people are being nosy and trying to get into my personal life. As I said before, I pass really well as a cis male, however, I have yet to have top surgery. So even with my binder on, you can sort of tell that something is there. This is where the rumors start.

I have had to resign from positions simply because the entire place is talking within no time. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but the things people say are outright disgusting and inhuman. I have been cornered in a bathroom in the past at a metal shop I worked at. The three men who backed me into the corner made sexual advances and threats, telling me they would show me I would prefer to be a woman. Luckily someone else entered the bathroom before anything physical was able to happen. I immediately quit and never went back. How disgusting is this?

Another instance, where I was actually forcefully resigned from a position, a fellow co-worker found out that I was in fact, transgender. I use the male bathrooms, I always have and I will never stop going to the bathroom of my preference because believe me I'm sure I would scare plenty of women if I went into their bathroom. Well, this co-worker threatened me several times, made a huge deal to the HR department stating he was uncomfortable with a "woman" in his bathroom. He stated he felt he would be violated. I was forced to resign because, since my gender is not legally male yet, it was either use the women's bathroom or hold it during the 8-12 hours I would be working.

My experiences with work have not been well, have not been safe, and have violated my rights on several occasions. The stigma against transgender individuals really needs to stop. Our safety is just as important as any other member of society. The fact that my rights in the workplace have been violated many times and no one has yet to listen to my claims or take me seriously is outright ridiculous. I pray in the generations to come that transmen and transwomen become safer and have the courage to stand up when they know they are being treated poorly.

Sexual assault is also a very serious issue. What I cannot seem to understand is why would grown men want to sexually assault someone else who identifies as male, just to, "show them how it feels to be a woman." It is disgusting. If you ever feel you are being sexually harassed or at risk for assault, get out of the situation as quickly and safely as you can. Contact local law enforcement and press charges like I did. Always stand up for yourself. Never let any employer, or co-workers, drag you down. Stay strong, and stand tall.