Being an Introvert

I don't know if it's just me, but it seems in today's world that the way to make new friends is via work, your current friends, bf/gf, or maybe volunteering. Personally, I have never seen a small group of people see someone alone and invite that person into their little group. I just don't think that happens anymore, if it ever really did. For me, I made one or two friends in school, then maybe they introduced me to more people, or it was just a couple of us and then other groups. Once I had to just start hanging out with a group of people and not leave. Of course, they thought I was weird but I had people to eat lunch with every day. Now that school is over for me, I retained very few close friends. And some family members say to "go out and meet people." But, I’m not sure where to do that? My only idea is either volunteering or joining a book club. Something that doesn’t cost any money. And to be totally honest, I probably should do some volunteer work regardless of whether it brings me new friends. It’s good karma and a chance to help out. But aside from volunteering, and maybe a book club. How do introverts/shy people make more friends these days?

Is it socially acceptable in some places to randomly start talking to a person and see if you have common interests? From what I’ve seen, the only place to do this is at a party. A smaller house party though. But even then you have to be invited to these parties somehow.

I have a friend who occasionally goes to parties, he’s an extrovert. Makes friends fairly easy and has so many there’s barely enough time in a month to hang out with a quarter of them. If that. I’ve asked him why he hadn’t invited me to some of these parties, and he said “because you don’t know anyone there.” Which, is fair enough, I mean most people might think that if you don’t know people, you don’t want to hang out with them for a night. And yeah, that’s partly true, if I don’t know you, those few hours might be awkward as hell. However, sometimes you have to force yourself to sit through somewhat uncomfortable situations, because something good might come from it. Like a new friend.

I sometimes wonder if things were more open when my parents were my age, early to mid-twenties. Could you go up to someone in a bar and just start talking? Or in a mall, or wherever the “hangout” was for them.

I wonder if I just didn’t inherit their outgoing and socially “normal” personalities. Since I know from stories that they had about a dozen friends growing up. Possibly each. And I’m pretty sure I could be classified as socially awkward. Not on a spectrum or anything, but for some reason “how to behave normally in social situations” didn’t quite join my personality. And due to this, I think, I have lost friends over the years. Only a few have stayed close and can fully accept that I’m a weird person, though I am proud of it. I admit I didn’t have much in common with the friends I lost, we didn’t share the same sense of humour, didn’t really like the same music, or watch the same shows. Which, it seems are staples in friendships today, and that’s understandable as TV, movies, and music have become bigger than they may have ever been.

So, some introverts like me turn to Facebook and other online groups for that sense of community. Sometimes it really does suck being an outgoing introvert. You want to get out and do stuff, but sometimes it’s lack of people with free time, and your own shyness that gets in the way.

Sigh.

Then there's the "resting bitch face" introverts tend to have.