Being Involved with Married People

Recently, I heard a woman on the radio talking about how she was involved with a married man for three years. He had one kid and was a high powered professional in Atlanta. The problem was that he gave her the typical lines people tell the other man or woman. He said, "I'll leave my wife for you and we can build a life together." She was hurt that he didn't leave his wife. She even stalked the wife! She wanted to destroy him in the newspapers. She kept saying that she took care of him and she was basically the wife.

There's so much wrong with this story. First off, you're not the wife, you're the other woman or the girlfriend. Also, in this case, she sounded like a sugar baby. Second, never stalk the wife. If you stalk the spouse you will look insane and possibly get arrested. Third, never believe a married person when they say they'll leave their spouse. There's a good chance they won't. Plus, would you really want to be the reason a marriage breaks up? And if you break a marriage then you may be breaking up a family.

A person isn't always a home wrecker or "mistress" while dating a married person. Some people allow their spouses or partner to see other people, and that's up to them. The good rule of thumb is the partner or spouse must always know what's going on. If the spouse doesn't know, run from this person. If the person's spouse or partner doesn't know what's going on then it's cheating. If they're cheating, then yes, you are the other man or woman.

So here are the rules for being involved with a married person:

1. Never catch feelings just in case they won't leave their spouse for you.
2. Don't expect them to leave their spouse for you.
3. The spouse must know. If they don't, it's cheating and that's wrong.
4. If they leave their spouse, give them time to sort stuff out.
5. Don't demand they leave their spouse. If they have to chose between their spouse and you, you might not like their answer.
6. Don't connect on social media.
7. Be discreet as possible at places you guys may know people.
8. Don't introduce them to your group unless they can be secretive or understanding.
9. Know your place and no jealousy!
10. Know that it can end at any time.
11. Don't post anything on social media about them.

There are some downsides to dating married people. The main problem is all the negativity around this type of lifestyle. People will judge you and not understand, that's the main reason people don't talk about it. It's also why you have to be discreet. There's also a lot of jealousy that can come with this lifestyle. The boyfriends and girlfriends can also get attached. The other thing that makes this messy is the fact that some people can lie and say their spouse knows when they don't. The spouse can also come after you at some point for being a home wrecker. People can lie about being married. I was with two guys who didn't tell me right away that they were married.

People do this for many reasons. For the married people, the marriage could be stale or sexless. They can also be swingers. For the boyfriend or girlfriend they could just want no attachment fun. Some want a break from commitment. The boyfriend or girlfriend can like all the perks of a relationship without worrying about where this is going.

There are other down sides of this and other reasons people do this, but this was meant to be a post on the basics of it.