Being Married in My Early 20s

I was just 18 years old when I met my one day husband, Roger. He was 26. I know the age difference seems big but it really wasn’t. He says still to this day that he knew he wanted me from the moment we were introduced. And how did I feel about him when we first met? Well my first words to him were “You smell good.” Yea. Not my finest moment.

At this time in my life I was thinking ‘Do I want to go to college? What would I study for? Can I make such a big commitment?’ See I was going for my CRNA (Certified Registered Nurse Anesthesis) which basically is an Anesthesiologist without all the extra years in school. I would have to get my Bachelor's degree to obtain that title. But I don’t think that my heart was in it. I was trying to figure out me, what I wanted, and not what everyone else wanted. My family was hoping I would get my degree and be so successful. But I changed the plan. I threw it out. I needed to know who I was and who I wanted to be. I wanted to look at myself and be proud.

Roger was kinda like a breath of fresh air. He was new and frankly the most beautiful man I had ever seen. But stupid me didn’t know what I wanted. I thought if I dated someone at that moment I would get lost and never find myself. Little did I know God had a plan for me. It took months for us to finally date. He asked but again I was being dumb. I finally got the courage to text him after months of talking and say "I like you. And I hope that you still like me. I know that I seem crazy and weird. I am. But I want you. I want to call you my boyfriend. If that is something you still want. I hope to see you tomorrow in Sunday school." I sent that text. I waited for a reply. Nothing. No reply. So I put my phone on the charger and went downstairs to hang with my family.

The next day, he was there. In Sunday school. He sat next to me and of course, he smelled so fine. Millions of thoughts rushed through my mind. ‘Did he get the text? Does he care? Does he not want me anymore? Did I make an idiot out of myself?’ That class was the longest hour of my life. After class we all headed to the church for the sermon (our Sunday school class was in the old church. The new church was right next to the old one down the hill a little). Roger asked me to follow him to his truck. There he pulled out red roses. (Inside I was acting like a little school girl). I could tell he was nervous. He asked me if I would go on a date with him. He said he got my text and was sorry he didn’t reply. He was asleep because he worked third the night before. He also said when he read my text he went out to get new clothes for church and washed and waxed his truck. I thought I was going to cry. I was so happy.

The rest of the day consisted of him asking my parents for permission to date me. Them asking every personal question someone could ask while simultaneously embarrassing me. Followed by us going on an AMAZING first date (details will be shared in another article). We continued to date for a year. Right before our one year anniversary, we got married. And I loved every second.

See, I wanted to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. And then I met Roger. The most perfect man for me. And I also had people and society saying “Are you serious? You aren’t ready to be a wife. You’re not even 20 yet. Don’t do this. You’re still young. You have your whole life to settle down. Focus on you.” Maybe they were right. Maybe I should have waited. If I hadn’t married Roger I know he would have still stuck by me. Encouraged me. But I didn’t want that. For once I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be Mrs. Taylor Searcy Holland. Marriage wasn’t going to hold me back. It made me grow. I grew into someone I never knew I wanted to be.

Don’t get me wrong. So far, we have been married for almost 3 years and all I can say is, marriage is HARD! It is work and it takes determination. Sometimes you fight over dirty clothes. Just the other day we fought over a cheeseburger. A CHEESEBURGER. We don’t get along somedays. Sometimes I just want to be alone and not hear him. I don’t want to look at him or even hear him breathe next to me. We both have tempers and we’re both extremely stubborn. But when we love, we love with all our hearts. We enjoy each other’s company. We can sit and talk for hours. We are learning to communicate better. Try to control our tempers. Yelling really doesn’t solve much. We’ve learned to work together instead of against one another.

I guess what I’m trying to say through this whole article is, Yes. I would recommend getting married young, as long as you are in the right mindset and understand completely that marriage is work and it’s rough. I was lucky. I found someone that loves me through it all. Someone more mature than I am. Someone to guide me and teach me as well as love me. Roger respects me not knowing fully who I am and what I want to do with my life. His encouragement to go back to school to do something that is going to further my mind, heart, and my marriage is something that I feel is so rare. If you find that person and you feel everywhere in your body that you want to marry that person; do it. If there is a small doubt in your mind about your relationship, explore that doubt. Find out why you have it. Marrying young worked for me. God blessed me with my husband. In my heart God knew I needed Roger to help me find who I wanted to be. I’m still on that journey of finding me. But having Roger beside me is the best way to spend my life. It’s not easy by far. But it’s worth it. Thanks to him I decided to go back to school. And I feel confident. I remember the last time I felt this confident about a decision I made. I said “I Do” to my best friend.