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From experience, as a young woman dating someone whose nights were my partner's daytimes, I've been through it all. On top of it, I've learned the best lessons from it that I couldn't have ever imagined. I learned to establish trust, patience, and to show more sincerity to make up for the lack of physical touch and the caressing that most men desire from their woman.
That is why I'm here to spare my knowledge about how to make it work like I did. It is a journey, so you must not be naive many times and cause yourself to lose the love of your life because of a lack of physical presence. Because these relationships can work.
From the start, you need to decide if this is the love and worthwhile struggle you're willing to go through. Especially if this relationship is on the international level and not just different states. Once you're invested and you're convinced your love is real, you must learn to be sincere.
Using platforms like Skype and WeChat, WhatsApp, LINE, or even iMessage are effective to communicate through.
1. Don't talk about really serious matters through text.
Talk about personal and serious matters over a video call. It's the best way to show your sincerity by connecting with them through their eyes and body language. Whether it's talking about a goal you want to accomplish or about a serious family matter, to show your sincerity to them you must be able to show them that you're truly listening and understanding them. Using text messaging can't show if you're truly caring about their troubles unless you have a 'way with words.'
2. Greet them according to their time zone.
Though it may be your nighttime, tell them "Good morning" and tell them some motivational words to get their day started, no matter how your day went. You are probably the first person they talk to when they wake up, so it's nice that you greet them and show your compassion. Talk about your day or serious matters when they have further woken up to avoid them from feeling overwhelmed.
3. Show your loyalty to them.
Many times in long distance relationships, insecurity comes into play as your partner realizes because they aren't physically there, that they can't protect you or show other people that you belong to them. This may cause unease or loss of confidence in a relationship. So, present yourself in a way where you devote time to them and video call them. Tell them how much you admire them or feel lucky that you are their partner. Display emotions that are raw to them so they know you're their 'go to' for telling personal emotions to. Tell them how they are your 'best love' in your life, and your 'Number One' in order to ease their confidence that you are theirs.
4. Tell them your schedule.
Make it a point every morning to give them at least a general runover of your day's plans so they can know when it's appropriate to call and when it's not. When your partner is misinformed and they call you when you're busy, or you don't answer the phone, they may feel anxious, worried, or left behind. Because they are not in your physical world, at least try to make them feel integrated into your life by telling them your plans rather than them worrying about the worst possible scenario.
5. Less is more.
It may seem counterintuitive, but you don't need to text or call your partner excessively in order to make up for the distance. This may cause your partner to not appreciate your qualities if they are constantly around you. Just like in real life relationships, you don't want to ALWAYS be around your partner. It can wear out your love and cause you to become obsessive when you're not calling. Sending simple texts and not speaking for a few hours is fine, as long as you express care for them.
6. Get to know your partner.
Stay updated on your partner's family life, hobbies, school, absolutely anything that you can learn to bond over. Even get to know what they like in the 'dirty' sense, as it is a strong bond when it comes to loving someone far away. Discuss things together like your childhood experiences and even talk about each other's cultures if you're from different backgrounds. This is key to showing your partner that you're interested in them and who they are.
7. Send each other letters or gifts.
If the situation allows, then send your partner sweet letters and mementos to them so they can have something to remind you of them while they are working or at school. This constant reminding through a symbolic object can motivate them to work hard to see you and continue to build the life they want to with you.
8. Save and schedule.
Save up money to either see your partner or for them to visit you at least one two two times a year if possible. Seeing each other in real life establishes a connection and makes the relationship more interesting. As you can appreciate those little things about them that a video call can't completely show. Greet them with gifts like flowers, and make sure you spend time sitting with each other and talking rather than always constantly going out when they visit. It is also a good time for appreciating the sense of physical touch that is missed so much.
9. Be open.
Communicating your true feelings is important in a long distance relationship. Don't always assume they can tell when you are upset with them, especially through a text or video call. Send them photos of you and share your deepest thoughts with them so they can understand your mind. You were brought together for a reason, so let your partner connect with you 'spiritually' so they can know this relationship is worth it.
10. Be patient and love.
Yes, long distance relationships are difficult. But they are one of the most 'worth it' struggles you will ever go through. You must stay positive and allow love to grow to replace that anxious feeling of missing them. Be confident and know that if you've spent most of your relationship apart, then it's going to be so worth it when you actually live together and your two worlds fuse. Don't let anyone judge, because you're on a journey that not many people can endure. So love your partner, and wait until that time, and your worlds will become one.