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Body Language & Your Love Life

How noticing, and remembering, your partners body-speak can significantly improve your life

By Sierra IPublished 7 years ago 5 min read
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Body language and love

I know what you're thinking... What does body language have to do with love? How will noticing my partner's body language improve our love? I already know my partner's body language, so what's next? Well, I'm going to tell you.

What does body language got to do with it?

Body language is beautiful. It tells you what a person is thinking and feeling. We all notice body language, but do we really put it to use and take it to heart? I'm finding this happens less and less often.

Keeping an eye on your partner's body language can tell you a lot about what your partner may need from you or what their position is. Maybe they rub their hands together when they are nervous or upset. Maybe they make eye-contact when they lie. Maybe they clench their jaw when they are angry and rub the back of your arm when they want your attention or to cuddle.

Whatever the mood, there is a type of body-language that goes along with it. So, what does love got to do with it? Absolutely everything!

Knowing your partner's telltale signs can tell you that they really need you to listen, even if you don't think it's important; it's obviously important to them. It can tell you that they need support, even if they can't outright say it. It can tell you that they feel unappreciated or nervous or angry. It can tell you a conversation may be better accepted later or needs to be had to give them strength. It can basically tell you everything you need to know, without your partner ever saying a word.

Some people are too proud to admit when they need something. For instance, when a man needs love or courage, he most likely will not outright say it because of pride. But, if he rubs his hands together when he's nervous or insecure, and you are watching him do this at a dinner party with his boss, you will know to step next to him confidently and slip your arm through his.

There are so many ways that body language can strengthen relationships, and help you to provide your partner with exactly what they need at the right time.

Ok... So, how will noticing these things improve anything?

Noticing body language is the first step. Now, it's time to act on it. If you notice your partner's body language, but do not act on it, that isn't necessarily helping. If you approach your partner with a problem when they are already focusing on something else or irritated with something, not only are you going to put more on their plate or aggravate them, but you aren't going to feel listened to or appreciated. That's not good for anyone!

Let's say you're at that dinner party again. You see your partner struggling, rubbing their hands frantically, and looking down at their toes. If you turn your head and resume your conversation, how are you supporting or encouraging your partner? It's simple; you're not. Most people on this Earth, myself included, will not admit when they need help with things so simple. But, I guarantee you, your partner will genuinely appreciate you, and love you that much more, if you offer them the support when they need it most.

So, in short, don't just notice the behavior; ACT on it!

5 Helpful Hints to Get You Started

So you notice the body-speak, you want to act on it... How do you do that? I've compiled a list of 5 helpful tips to get you started on your way to a better connection with your partner.

1. Always make eye contact.

I can't stress this enough! People say "eyes are the window to the soul," and this is completely accurate! Do your partner's eyes get shifty when they're worried or anxious? Do they make eye contact when they lie? Is there something, in particular, that catches their eye? Watching these things can significantly affect your relationship, and can help you better understand what your partner is really trying to say, without them having to try and find the words.

2. Watch their mouth.

Do they get a "smile" on the corner of the mouth when they're content? Do they grind their teeth or clench their jaw when they're angry or frustrated? Don't just wait for them to pour the entire story to you. I will assume you know how to offer comfort to your partner, so offer it! After they have calmed down and feel secure and appreciated again, they will open up. And they will really appreciate you going out of your way to pick up their mood without them having to ask and without that nagging "what's wrong" that they may not have been up for at the time.

3. Hands, hands, HANDS!

I've noticed through the years that most all people use their hands as a form of expression. Nail-biting, frantic rubbing, picking, you name it. Once you know what mood correlates with what behavior, it's that much easier to offer them what they need. Again, this doesn't just help them. When you offer your partner what they need, without them having to outright ask, you are gaining their trust and appreciation. If they're a nail-biter, watch for jagged edges and red cuticles. They don't need to do this in front of you for you to understand that they are in need of some support.

4. Watch how they breathe.

What are their normal breathing habits? Are they closing their eyes and making an effort to breathe slowly? This may indicate that they are trying to calm down from anger or frustration. This means maybe you should put off a conversation until they calm down or say something light or funny to make them laugh. They'll appreciate the effort, even if it doesn't work.

5. Last (and this is a little weird), but watch their nose.

Do their nostrils flare when they're mad? Does it crinkle on the sides when they're deep in thought? Again, this will tell you if a conversation is best saved for later, or gives you the opportunity to offer comfort.

No one likes to ask to feel appreciated or valued. And, as you'll see, once you start doing these things, you'll feel more appreciated too. This gives you both the opportunity to grow in your relationship, know each other on a new, more intimate level, and surpass most anything in your relationship.

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About the Creator

Sierra I

FT mom, writer, and 'doer'. Coffee obsessed and science-based, I thoroughly enjoy broadening people's horizons and mental processes through the written word.

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