Break Ups!

Why is it that breakups are the worst thing on the planet? You know it's coming and it needs to happen. You spent weeks, even months contemplating breaking up.

When you get to the breakup, you wonder how it's going to happen. Wonder how it will happen. Wonder how the outcome of it will go.

When it does happen, it takes a completely different route. You don't know how to handle it because it wasn't what you planned; it's not what you had expected.

You spend time wondering if you did the right thing. Remembering how it happened. Realizing the other person didn't even care about the fact it was over. I think it’s worse when you live with the person because you had built a life together and now having to rip it in half.

Finally, the moving date. Where your other half moves out and it hits you. There are so many emotions that come. You are not sure how to feel. As you watch them move their stuff out, you wonder if you made the right choice. You want so badly for them to look at you and say ‘please let me stay?’ But they don’t. The same time you remember all the reason why you broke up. They didn’t even fight for you, they were concerned about where they were they going to live, instead of the relationship. That’s when the emotions become over barring.

It's almost like you are drowning because now you are forced to come out of your comfort zone and can't find the lifeboat. You try to find a lifeboat to get back to shore. How can you do that if you are drowning? The best you can do is keep your head above water and pull yourself up even though it may be hard now and feels like you'll never find the boat.

Some time goes by and you cave, and you answer their text. You know you shouldn’t, everyone tells you it’s a bad idea. But, you do it anyway because for some reason you still care. You want to see if they are alright. As you continue to talk they realized where the relationship went wrong. But didn’t want to see it before. That’s when you both realize that this relationship wasn’t going anywhere. Even though you both wish it had and would like to have worked things out.

You even get together a couple of times to try and work on things. You start to get your hopes up and just maybe it may work out. But then you both fall back in old patterns and things end up worse than they already were. Then you get crushed because just for a second, you thought just maybe you could work out your differences. You take this experience and grow with each other and learn from past mistakes then grow as a couple.

The best thing you can do is take a step back and take yourself out of the situation. Take this experience to focus on yourself and work on things that didn’t work in the relationship. More or less take it as a learning experience and grow from it.

It may feel like forever but you realize that you are your own lifeboat. The only person that can save you is you. That may sound like a cliché but it’s true. No one knows you better than yourself.

As an induvial, you realize what you want and need in life, not that you didn’t know that in the relationship. But the only difference is you don’t have anyone else to consider. You can’t love someone else unless you can love yourself first.