Bright Spots

I have always been one who has a difficult time looking folks in the eye. I have never really understood why I have a hard time with it. It doesn't mean I am a liar, it never means that I'm not faithful to family and friends or whatever anyone has ever discussed with me about it. It's just that I am well aware of my surroundings while I am conversing with someone and generally, I am not looking them in the eyes. I have been challenged to look people in the eyes more. It began to bother me at first back in March, however, I got more and more used to it. Now it's quite simple.

I have learned that in this process you can tell a lot about someone based on their eyes.

Truly.

I used to think that everyone just hid behind their own version of self and that's not quite the case. People can't hide what their eyes show. Eyes share hurt, anger, turmoil, sadness, joy, self-destruction and so much more. However, the easiest thing to spot is happiness. It's so nice to actually see the happiness that radiates from someone's eyes when they laugh or smile because I did or said something completely ridiculous or out of left field that was unexpected.

I was thinking on my drive this morning how fortunate of a person I am to be able to make some laugh and smile in such a way I can see their eyes light up. Behind everyone's eyes, regardless of what they show you physically; they are human. They have feelings, emotions, thoughts, angels and demons that they wrestle with. They have thoughts that are sometimes destructive while others may have happy thoughts and happy days always. They are exactly what you are. Human.

If you know me well, you know I don't do fake. I can't handle someone who is fake, who tries too hard to make themselves known or puts themselves out there. I am very much a "lay low" and "play it by ear" and "roll with the punches" kinda person as of late. I do not try to make myself stand out or be overly loud and obnoxious. There are some folks that are so worried about what others think, how others perceive them and so on. Several of these folks have asked my opinion and advice on this matter. Generally the question I get is "How do you do it?" Well, let's give a glimpse into the conversation for a minute:

Them: "How do you do it?"

Me: "Do what?"

Them: "That. Just act like nothing matters, like you don't care what people think of you?"

Here's where it gets kinda deep...

Me: "I do just that. Other's people opinion of me is truly none of my business. Unless they approach me and want to make it my business, I am not one to come out an ask. If they don't like me, that's on them, especially if I have done nothing to them directly. There are people who will take advantage of you just to do so. They don't care or have a regard for your feelings or anything else, they are out for themselves. The only person anyone should put on a pedestal is their significant other. I never worry about what everyone thinks because there's a critic in everyone and honestly, I've been through too much that I KNOW what I have been through and what I can handle versus what someone thinks. If they are jealous of me, they have lost already because they are missing out on me. I know I'm an awesome person. However, it has taken me going to my own personal hell and back to get where I am.

I won't bore you with the details of my life, unless you really want to know. If you're brave, just ask. Beware, what you ask, you may not want the answers to. Some of the things I have experienced would make a grown adult cry; I still battle things sometimes. However, I am always here to encourage and do my best to inspire anyone and everyone to be themselves.

When you have seen the darkest part of your mind and been down, you only begin to look for the light in any situations that are left in your journey.