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In the 6th grade, a 7th grader decided to bully me by asking if I was an illegal immigrant when, in fact, I was born in the United States and have an American passport, which also functions as proof of citizenship. I have never quit being paranoid about this stuff because of the immigration crisis that is happening right now, as well as past crises. The bully did other things to me too; things I cannot mention in this piece but that can be posted on my blog. She was an odd one, and I didn’t friend her on Facebook when she asked.
Bullying is a form of hostility– toxic, verbal, psychological and emotional hostility. Bullies have ill will towards their victims. They cannot necessarily apologize. I can just tell a bully immediately. They act innocent, as though they didn’t do anything wrong, and, you see, many will not admit that they do anything wrong. Many who have been caught wrongdoing do not admit it. There is a way to make a bully squirm. For that you have to know the weaknesses of the bully, which can often mean being a bully.
When called out, bullies do not admit it. Some bullies refuse to be put in their place. These are people with longstanding anger problems. Some relational bullies like setting people up. Relational bullies are often seething inside. They act kind on the outside but on the inside, they are angry. They have a target of their anger, usually a person who is abusing them. This is why some people have personality changes when they turn into a relational bully. Their victims do not notice at first. Some of them simply keep their bullying underhanded, confined to various different kinds of looks.
Bullies love enhancing their shenanigans. Every time somebody is mean to me, I figure out how to bully somebody else better if I need to deal with returning the favor. Some bullies only understand that. This is why you have to throw people with genuine ill will towards you under the bus. As in, call them out on what they are about to do if you have any idea as to what they are doing. Some bullies like to be crafty, these people are often the ones who get arrested. If a bully uses physical violence, then they get into trouble. Often they do.
I have had roommates that have threatened me with physical violence, in 2004 and in 2005. The threat of fighting them with force often took the wind out of their sails. Nobody wants to be hit by somebody 4’10 who will win. If I’m ever in a situation, I’m prepared to defend myself. When you are smaller than somebody, you have to get to them first before they attack you. I do not respond to brainwashing well, either, because it is very hard to brainwash me. I’m not so brainwashed that I can’t respond with legitimate anger.
Some abuse victims are so brainwashed they can’t get angry. Growing up I wasn’t allowed to vent much. This is what led to me having oppositional defiant disorder. Despite some people thinking to the contrary, that I didn’t have a problem, I did. I had few outlets for my anger aside from martial arts. Of course, my family has deep denial issues. Bullies often do. They sadistically hurt people for fun. Anybody who shows bullying behavior has ill will towards others. That is flat out the way a bully operates. Sometimes bullying can happen without so much ill will. But, then again, bullies exist to do people harm. It is a huge emotional problem we are facing this century along with environmental degradation.