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The Link Between Separation and Connection

Clearly, what we have is something most might deem... unconventional. We are apart more than we are together; we have been in a relationship for four years, though we have only been in the same country a total of four months. What we have is by no means easy. What we have takes work. Despite all of this, what we have is special. All the time spent apart makes the time together so perfect. Every tear we shed on departure from each other is replaced by thousands of butterflies each time we return to each other's arms. Every time I board yet another plane to come to you I am overcome with the familiar feeling of blissful uneasiness I experienced my first time ever laying eyes on you in person. It is a nervousness that calms me in the most unexpecting way. It is an anxiousness that whispers in my ear, "You're going home." What we have is something I have never known. We have been together for four years, and every day feels like the first. Everything we are gives me butterflies. Everything you do keeps me in awe. Things as simple as:

  • The way your arms squeeze me just the right amount of "too tight" during our first embrace after a long separation.
  • The little noises you make in your sleep when your dreams are taking you to new worlds.
  • The way you smell, fresh out of the shower, bubbles still lingering on your dampened skin.
  • The way you consistently check on me, knowing how easily overwhelmed I can get.
  • The way you kiss my head in the most delicate way before leaving for work early in the morning.
  • The feeling of your fingers intertwined with mine, a feeling I can only describe as safety.
  • The way you make every setting feel like home.
  • The way we can just be together, silence lingering like an old friend, comforting in a way I never thought imaginable.
  • The predictable nature of your jokes.
  • The sound of your voice, saying my name in a way that almost makes it sound new.
  • The way you dance around the kitchen, completely free.
  • The way your smile travels from your lips to your eyes and lights up the entire room.
  • The way you pull me into you after a long day.
  • The way you regularly remind me that I am enough.

Everything you do, and everything you are, completely takes my breath away. There is a bond that I share with you that I have never experienced in my life before now. It is a connection so strong, that to lose you would feel as though I had lost myself. Our journey is far from over. There are many struggles ahead; we have opened a book with pages still yet to be written, and many things are still unsure. Our peregrination has not been an easy one, and knowing which path to take has not always been outrightly obvious. However, each day, as we push toward our goal, things are becoming clearer, and it is exhilarating watching our future start to take shape. Our road has been by no means an uncomplicated one, but when I think about the euphoria of everything that being with you entails, I am certain beyond any doubt that once we reach our destination, our life is going to beautiful. I promise to think on these beautiful things and to choose you every day, for you are my best friend, you are my advocate, you are my home. Everything you do gives me those butterflies I mentioned earlier—the butterflies I never want to leave.

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