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While online dating can be a marvelous way of getting introduced to a diverse range of potential partners, sometimes transcending cultural or even geographical boundaries, it can have its drawbacks. Falling for someone who happens to live some distance away is obviously not ideal, especially if you’ve previously enjoyed relationships where you’ve been used to spending a lot of time in each other’s company. But you don’t always think of the practicalities when you browse through women looking for men and find yourself smitten with a profile photograph and description. Once you start communicating with this person and feel that spark of chemistry, do you ignore it simply because they don’t live a few blocks away?
The short answer is "no." Undoubtedly those close to you will be fixated on aspects like the prohibitive costs of travel just to arrange a date or the inconvenience of web chats having to be arranged according to a rigid timetable. There will also be much longer periods of loneliness. By its very nature, a long-distance relationship will become complicated. But there are also many pluses. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, being separated for long periods will cause love to blossom. Here are some other key things to keep in mind for this partnership to work.
Play it cool.
The first thing to accept is you’ll need to behave differently than any previous situation you’ve been in. Being overly possessive is never a pleasant trait but especially in this case. For your romance to survive you should adopt a more casual approach. Just because you can’t pick up your phone and fire off a text or arrange to meet up for lunch anytime you want is no reason to over-compensate by attempting to keep in touch at every opportunity. Learning to stay "off radar" for long periods of time will make you appreciate your partner all the more when you do eventually touch base.
One way of looking at what you have is to regard your love as a journey you are both embarking on, one that has its fair share of adversities to overcome, but if you can do this together it will make you so much stronger than your friends in "run of the mill" couplings. Getting through the ups and downs of this long-distance test will only strengthen your bonds.
Unlike typical relationships which progress naturally, you’ll have to agree on certain ground rules. Some might suggest deciding whether or not it would be okay to see other people. This might be mature but you would have to question whether undermining trust would achieve anything positive. But certainly be open about your levels of commitment in the longer-term. Where do you see this relationship going? If it is a journey, what it its destination? Are your ultimate ambitions to move in together, and if so, where?
There are also practical arrangements to be considered. Depending on location, what is the best time of day to arrange a phone call or live web chat? This could be awkward if there is a considerable time distance, nevertheless it is important to stick to a timetable. If you aren’t going to manage the communication for whatever reason you would have to inform your partner as soon as possible. The worse possible outcome would be for someone to be staring at their phone, wondering why the Skye connection is dormant. All sorts of worries will begin forming.
There are hurdles to overcome but these will be worth it when you do finally arrange a holiday or weekend break to your partner’s location.