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Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?

Love or Friendship?

Can men and women be friends, or will there be at some point in their friendship a time where one or both of them feel something more? 

Wanting something you can’t have? Or have you really fallen in love with the person you once called a best friend? 

Being with them, or leaving it because it’s the best option and it will hurt other people? 

Will it change our friendship if it doesn’t work out, or will we be happy together? 

Is it too much of a risk, even though he’s known me through my worst and best times and still loves me for me? 

Will the sex be weird, and if so can we just pretend it never happened and go back to normal? 

These were all questions I asked myself before the night it happened and we all know what I mean when I say ‘the night IT happened’.

He had been in love with me for years, he knew it, everyone knew it, but he pushed it to the back of his mind when we both got in long term relationships because we was both happy with our partners. I don’t know when or how it went from ‘we’re best friends’ to ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you.’ Some say if it’s meant to be, love will always find a way, and maybe that is the case.

It happened unexpectedly, well not literally, but what I mean is it happened naturally without us even having a discussion about whether it was right or wrong or whether we should or not. Deep down we both hoped IT would be horrendous and that we would both just laugh it off but in fact it was the opposite.

That’s when we thought ‘fuck what now?’ 

When people say ‘sex doesn’t change or complicate anything’ that’s a lie. The sex didn’t confirm our love for each other or make us love each other more as we always knew the love was there but after that we felt connected and for the first time felt like it was the right decision.

Honestly and truly, real love is too rare to find, and if you find it grab hold of it with both hands...

We knew we wanted to be together but was it possible? what will people say? How will people react? 

I now think why was I ever caring about what other people thought over my own happiness? Would people do the same for me? Why am I risking true love when the shock will pass in a couple of weeks?

People spend a lifetime trying to search for "the one," and some people have wasted so much time not realising the one was right in front of them. If you have a chance to do something, take it. People always say ‘oh you’ll find someone else,’ but soul mates are hard to find.

I believe men and women can be ‘just friends’ and I’ve never understood the concept of men saying ‘men and women can’t be friends it’s not normal.’

I think in my case it was different we had a connection from the start but a friendship of over ten years where nothing had ever happened, we watched each other in other relationships, and fell upon each other with our relationship issues without even thinking about being together. 

Was I blind? Maybe.

Was I scared? Probably.

Did I know I loved him? Definitely.

Would I ever of thought I would be completely in love with my best friend? No, but was it the best selfish decision I ever made? Yes.

Follow your heart and trust your instinct. 

No one is in control of your happiness but you, and don’t risk that happiness for anyone. 

If you feel like it’s right, it probably is because when you feel true love nothing else in the world matters.

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