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Can You Really Be in Love with Multiple People at Once?


[Parisian street artist: Alexandre Monteiro aka Hopare]

Can you be in love with multiple people at one time?

I don’t think you can. What I do think is, you can love multiple people. I think there is a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone. You can love anyone, because it can be quite easy to fall in love with multiple attributes you find within different people at one time. But, is that really you falling in love with that person? Or just the qualities they offer, which at the time, is exactly what you’re looking for?

You can find multiple people attractive, and that attraction can lead to a bond. If pursued. I think there’s so many people in the world you can love. So many qualities that will speak to you and make you fall in love with the idea of that person. But, I don’t think you can fully... wholeheartedly be IN love with more than one person at a time. 

Sure, you can love and find many people attractive. But, it’s easy when you’re not putting all your eggs in one basket. I’m not saying it’s easy having feelings for multiple people. Or, that just because you may have feelings for multiple people at once, that those feelings aren’t valid or real. Because, at the end of the day, I’m not you. I’m not feeling what you feel. 

But, I do believe when it’s just ONE person you’re giving your all to... There is some vulnerability there. Some weakness. But there, dear reader, lies the beauty of it all. That you can find one person you’re willing to be vulnerable with. One person who has rocked your core and made you feel like they are deserving of all that you are. And sure, you may not love ALL this person is. There can be qualities you don’t necessarily find very... appealing. But, there’s something there that makes you want to stay nevertheless. You can appreciate those qualities you necessarily don’t like. Because that makes this person stand out, makes them unique to you.

I just... Wonder, can a heart really be IN love with more than one person. Truly. Because surely you can love more than one person. In a less romantic sense, you can love multiple family members. You can love multiple friends. But if we’re talking about in love, I believe that’s something deeper. That’s your heart saying, hey, look at this person. This one person who does something to me no one else can, not really. Because yes, after a while passion can fizzle out. Yes, someone else can stimulate you. But everything that first glitters, eventually loses that gold. It takes a lot to have one person, one love, that you want “forever.” That even if the passion does fizzle out, you work to spark it up again. And sure, maybe love shouldn’t have to be worked out. Maybe. But we humans are so... complicated. So... easily changeable. Emotions are fickle little things. We are fickle little things, don’t you think? 

I don’t like to say love is complicated, I believe we often make it complicated. Because too often, we never realize the one flaw in our nature. That sometimes, we want too much. We desire things and too often, those desires can ruin a good thing. I’m not saying it’s bad to have desires. Or to explore those desires and fulfill yourself. What I am saying, what I believe, is that when a person wants more... They often forget what they already have and forget that what they already have can become more if they put in the effort to make it grow. Because I like to think that all things can grow. That they never stop growing. Love for example. I like to think there is always space for it to grow and deepen, even if the soil becomes rocky.

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