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Growing up, my life had never really been considered pleasant. I had a mother in and out of drugs and a father who didn't care. It has always been my brother and me against the world. Then 6th grade came and that school year is when my whole way of life changed just from one snapchat. That 10-second image of a brown-eyed boy with dark fringed hair and a smile which lit the room up had me falling head over heels. As we started talking and learning about each other was when I later found out he lived 583 miles away at that moment I felt all hope was lost. Turns out that wasn’t the only inconvenience; he also had a companion. Later that week he Snapchatted me again asking for my number and at the time nothing else was going through my head other than I was in shocked that a guy like him wanted to talk to someone like me. We talked every day, and I fell more for him every day.
Time passed by very fast before I realized it a month sped by and the words "I love you Kayla" came across my phone screen. My heart started racing, and I recognized this was crazy there was no way you could love someone at 13 or someone who was hundreds of miles away but, those words put a kind of happiness in my heart that I never felt before. A couple days after that amazing moment, he broke up with his girlfriend and you can guess what happened after that: I was his new girlfriend. We would always talk about our future and the day we would finally meet. Instead of babe or baby, he would call me sweet and I’d call him love, which to us wasn’t stupid. I was told everything I wanted to hear such as he was going to take care of me one day and give me the life I deserved. For a while, he was a secret, but once 6 months fled by and I was so happy I didn’t care what anyone thought. All the judgmental people at school made me feel like I was stupid for being with him but, he had my heart and was the only person I wanted in my life. A year flew by and I was now in 7th grade everything was still perfect. But things started getting hard because we couldn’t see each other and arguments were happening once a week. It was that time when we both decided this wasn’t going to work. The pain and hurt that took me over was unreal it was like someone was trying to kill you but you wouldn’t die so you just sit there suffering waiting for someone to save you.
After two months he came back and said, “Kayla we may argue and have a long time before we get to be together but, I don’t want anyone else I love you sweet.” The happiness was finally back and all the sweet texts. Then the lies came and the arguments but I couldn’t let go I was determined to make it work. Our plan was that once I turned 16 I would drop out and go be with him. Once again another year went by which this time it wasn’t a good year he started drinking and doing drugs. For me, it was terrible to be on the other side not being able to help or stop him. Eventually, it got to the point to where he would have random bursts of anger and I would be the one he’d take it out on. I stuck by his side through it all and pulled him out of his ways until another 6 months went by and that was the day my heart shattered into a million pieces. The words "I don’t love you anymore" popped up on my phone as tears rolled down my cheeks I could feel my heart sink to my stomach. Not a single thought went through my head I was only focused on the pain. Saying goodbye to someone you care for and love so much is one of the hardest things to do. It has been 3 years since that day I still struggle time to time with the thought of why did I lose him? No matter where we stand now and everything he has put me through he will always be my first love and have that place in my heart. Yes, I have talked to him in those past three years but the last words from him were “Kayla we were kids and it’s time for to stop coming back you’ll find someone better.” When times get rough I wanna run back but, I know it’s over and it’s time to move on.