Can You Tell When Your S.O. Is Unhappy?

"Can you tell when your significant other is happy?"

This question was recently asked on my Facebook by one of my friends. Shout out to Tiarra at Forty-Eleven Crafts and Events, think Things Remembered but 1000 times better. The reason I am answering the question here though is because my answer comes with a "let me explain". So, I fall on the autism spectrum, apparently, according to some people with degrees; I am apparently deal worth Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified or (PDD-NOS). So I guess the short answer to that question is no. I don't know when my fiancée is unhappy. But let me explain:

I can't tell when she's happy either. I guess the only reason I'm explaining this, is because of the comments made that not being able to read your partner is indicative of you being in tune somewhere else. I am sure this was in reference to infidelity or fading interest. If this is the case, for my beautiful future wife, let me apologize. I am in love with my woman and have been since I lied to her about my name. But, just like my love for her, my inability to read her has persisted since the first time our eyes locked. I am certain at first it seemed perfectly charming, me fumbling over myself. Honestly, each encounter I felt was more excruciating than the next. I am not here to explain away my garbage ways. If men are garbage I consider myself absolute waste. I knew where I was lacking, and where I have always lacked. I made no attempts to get better. Keeping my damage inside and slowly letting the rot spread, turned out to be pretty toxic to everyone around me.

THIS IS NOT TO JUSTIFY TOXICITY. IF YOU ARE DAMAGED FIX YOUR SHIT BEFORE BRINGING THAT INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE.

With that being said. I guess at this point I'm mansplaining (really working on figuring out how not to do that). I do feel like I needed to say something though. I guess, this is me trying to figure out the appropriate response with the new knowledge of what not being able to read your partner could signify. I guess I need to explain that I may need a little bit of patience while figuring this all out. And I need to explain to myself that my inability to read her comes from the PDD and not inattentiveness. I think I'm really trying to explain to anyone out there who is struggling with relationships for this same reason, and who actually are trying to get better at it.

It is really difficult, I know. If you open up about feeling this way, you could be ridiculed for using a scapegoat to avoid fixing your issues. If you're like me, you probably won't even really get the ridicule anyway. At least, not at first. Or you can deal with it on your own as I'm sure you've always done. If you just happen to miss certain things socially that literally everyone else seem to get, know that learning is never impossible. We may not ever become masters of human emotion, but we can figure out how to keep up.

So let me explain. This is not to be defensive with the group who commented underneath this status. And I really hope they don't think this is "shade". I just think that, for people like me, who aren't funneling our attentions elsewhere, and who are actively trying everything to play keep up on the emotional recognition, this creates a discussion we should have. It becomes a resource for us to draw from. This is what it is being perceived as. If this is not our intention, maybe we can find different approaches. For me, being honest about my "mental diagnosis" has led to many meaningful conversations. Life isn't a cake walk, but lying to yourself and those around you just trying to fit in, only makes it a hell-of-a-lot worse. So I guess I don't really need to explain. We just need to discuss. We need to learn ourselves better.