Humans is powered by Vocal creators. You support Beth Gibbons by reading, sharing and tipping stories... more

Humans is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.

How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.

How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.

To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.

Show less

Can Your Sexual Preferences Be Phobic?

Why calling those who refuse to sleep with you a bigot could actually help perpetuate rape culture...

Riley Dennis, famous social justice warrior.

Picture this for a second...

You go out on a date with an amazing man. He is everything you have ever dreamed of. He is good looking, he dresses well, he is smart, caring and affectionate, has an amazing job, pays for the bill... and you decide you will bring him up for a nightcap after the date.

The two of you make out on your way to the car. You make out on your way up to your apartment. You enter the apartment, lock the doors and shut the blinds, begin stripping off each other's clothes. When his shirt comes off, he has breasts. When he removes his boxers, there is no penis.

You are not a lesbian or bisexual, you are completely straight. To you, sleeping with a woman is not what you bargained for and you can't do it.

What if I told you that now makes you a transphobic? A bigot? 

Entering into the year 2017, with President Trump running the USA meant the entire world went insane with political correctness. So much so that our political correctness has essentially begun to add to the one thing us Liberal Feminists claim we hate the most: RAPE CULTURE.

All over social media right now are shared videos of YouTube stars such as Riley Dennis and Milo Stewart claiming that if you turn down sex with a transgendered person, it is transphobia. There are articles being written about this all over social media as well. So, I decided to explain to the world why this theory is very wrong... and even adds to rape culture.

Rape culture. That awful word used to describe a sociological concept used to describe a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality. Many people do not believe that rape culture exists in our western societies. 

However, for the sake of this article and Liberal Feminists everywhere, let's say rape culture exists. 

We teach "No means no." If someone wants to sleep with us and we say "no" and they force themselves onto us, or even pressure us too much, or we change our minds 3 days later (yes, that is apparently allowed now), we are told this is sexual assault and if they penetrate us, it is rape.

But what if saying "no" doesn't just mean "no" anymore? What if saying "no" now makes you a bigot? What if turning someone down now means you are racist? Or genderphobic? Or transphobic? 

What if you are a woman walking down the street, alone and at night (we do this all the time now apparently) and a group of men approach you. They are perhaps a different race. They hit on you, you turn them down. They now tell you that you are racist. You are gang raped on the street because our society is teaching us that when we turn someone down, it is coming from a place of bigotry and not sexual preference. 

You are taking away our right to say "no."

Those who believe that having sexual preferences can be discriminatory are taking away our right to say "no" to sex. Yes. The same ones who go on and on about rape culture. The same ones who once stood with signs in the streets saying "NO MEANS NO" are now claiming that when you say "no," you may not have a right to. It may be discriminatory. Discrimination is a crime. 

What does this mean for future?

It means this envelope will keep being pushed until one day, women will not be able to ever say no. Men won't either. We will be living in a society where if someone shows interest in you and you do not let them take advantage, you are immediately labeled the most awful things you can be labeled and your entire reputation is ruined. 

Even further, eventually, you could be charged yourself for turning down sex with someone who is of the opposite gender or a different race than the one you are attracted to. Think about it... discrimination is a crime.

There was once a time when discrimination wasn't a crime. When you were allowed to turn someone away from anywhere (not just from touching your body) for any reason you chose. We fought against it. We ensured laws were put into place to say that people cannot be discriminated against for any reason. If one does discriminate, it can be proven in a court of law. They can be sued or charged for discriminating against someone, depending on how they did it.

If this "trend" keeps up, one day, we could be sued for discriminating against a gay person by not having sex with them when we are straight. Or... vice versa. Remember, it does always go both ways eventually. I feel that may have been forgotten... 

Recently, a trans person was murdered. He didn't disclose to the man he was sleeping with that he was a man. The internet erupted in YouTube videos and articles saying that this trans person did not have to tell his partner he was once a man.

What is next, not having to tell your partner if you have an STD? Will that be deemed shaming those who have STDs? 

I am unsure how we ever ventured here, but this needs to stop. Yesterday. Once you begin telling people that their sexual preferences come from places of racism, bigotry, transphobia or homophobia; we are opening the doors to ensure our legs better stay open to any Tom, Dick and Harry who decides he wants to climb between. Not to mention, Tina, Dina and Hanna. Yes, that means that a woman would be able to hit on you and if you were straight and turned her down, then she could claim you are homophobic and you MUST sleep with her or you are discriminating.

Do we really want to do that, society? Why do we want that for our future? 

There was once a time when none of this politically correct stuff existed. We have already thrown the "people's first" approach out the window by deciding to start labeling ourselves everything under the sun again. We are no longer "a woman who is gay." No, we have decided that now becomes "A cisgender, gay woman." If you are trans, you are no longer "a person who is trans," you are now back to being seen as a transgender before being seen as a person. 

This is regression. 

When will you see it too? 

We need to stop adding to rape culture. If rape culture does exist and it is something we need to be aware of, this adds to it. 

So, stop it. Right now!

Now Reading
Can Your Sexual Preferences Be Phobic?
Read Next
Things People Need To Stop Saying To Childless Couples and Women