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Casual Dating: Is It a Game?

Or a Form of Art?

Casual dating can be tricky. When/where do you draw the line? When does casual dating become a relationship, or when should you call it quits? Life, work, and dating is all a game. There are guidelines and rules that must be learned and mastered to steadily flow your way through the havoc. Back in the early days, you would simply court a person of your choosing. Now, with modern devices leading communication between two people through digital devices rather than face to face interaction, the rules are slowly beginning to change.

When someone asks to casually see one another, it allows both partners to see/sleep with other people, but obviously this cant last forever—or can it? Of course, it could last forever, but that would just lead to having an open relationship/polyamorous, so when do you decide when enough is enough? It's hard when you really like the person and you can see the relationship evolving into something much more than what it is currently. The difficulty is trying to figure out when you should sit down and have that conversation about wanting monogamy and a steady relationship with them. You know deep down inside that they are not ready for a serious relationship, but you are. You will either give up completely and allow the hurt to swallow you whole, or you will end up agreeing to continue to see them casually while they continue to have their fun with other people besides you.

I heard a story of a girl who has been casually dating the same guy for almost two years now. As she continues to put her heart and soul into it, he continues to enjoy not only her, but also his girlfriend. We spoke of when someone should let go of the possibility of a future with the one they care for, and how/when should they do it. To me personally, almost two years is too much. I see it as he is using her and will probably never leave his girlfriend out of fear of her and him possibly never working out. That, however, is a chance we all must take when entering into a new relationship and opening our hearts. So where do you draw the line? Three months? Six months? A year? Or is it something you will just know inside your heart? Always listening to your heart is something I have learned from experience, and although your mind is wise, it will view the pros and cons of every thought until you have gone crazy with trying to figure out if you should or if you shouldn't.

Although it will drive you crazy, you can't rush the other person if they are not ready. They will either move forward with you or they won't. You will know, however, when it is time to let it go and move on with your own life rather than waiting for the other person. This can be a tragic end to something you were hoping might last, but it's a part of life. You can't avoid heartache no matter how hard you try. We learn from not only our mistakes, but also from our past relationships, memories, jobs, and even dates. For every day we live, we learn a little bit more of what will work for us and what will not.

You learn to pick up on the little things when things are going good or bad. When they either start to text you first or their texts become further between. When they want to spend time with you by pushing other things off to the side, to where they try and avoid you all together. If they are doing a mixture of these things, it's most likely they are scared of possibly being hurt.

There is always a reason behind casual dating, I find. It's either because they are scared of moving too fast and being hurt, or they are using you for their own benefits. Either way, only your gut feelings and time will tell if it's meant to be or not.

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Casual Dating: Is It a Game?
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