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Change of View

"Changing my perspective gave me deeper insight into myself."

Some pretty amazing things have been happening to me in the last few months. I don't think these things would be happening though if I didn't start changing my perspective. The older I get, the more I start to see the world differently. I changed the way I look at creativity and inspiration, my views on friendships, relationships, and just being a human being in general.

As a person who loves theatre, music, dance, art, and poetry, I am always keeping my eyes peeled for inspiration. However, I think when we search for it we tend to think inspiration is going to come falling or shooting out of the sky. We're constantly on the lookout, but when we don't find it or if we try to force it we tend to get frustrated and annoyed. What I've been recognizing more and more is that in many cases I am looking too hard for it to show up. Inspiration can literally be anywhere. In most cases the answer is sitting right in front of me. Instead of constantly being on the move trying to find it, I am learning to be still and let it come. I'll constantly have to remind myself, "I'm overthinking it. I need to just be." I also have to trust that it will present itself when the moment is right. This doesn't mean I am not looking for it. My eyes are still open, but there is just as much power in stillness as there is in movement.

I am also learning to be perfectly fine if I do not have a creative idea at that particular moment. I could easily become discouraged if I am working in a group and everyone else has amazing ideas, but I don't have something to bring to the table just yet. In moments like that it is best to be careful not to compare yourself to others. You are not them, and your creative mind isn't going to function exactly like theirs. I think we, as humans, are so afraid of the unknown. Rather than running away from it, imagine what would happen if we were able to sit in it and be content. Imagine sitting in that moment of, "I don't know" and being perfectly okay with that. We're always looking for an answer, a resolution, a definition, a label, but we may not always get one. We need to learn to accept that not always having an answer is apart of life. There's a certain power in the ability to be able to sit in that.

I've also changed my view on friendships and relationships. I think mainstream media and society in general sticks this idea in our heads that everyone has or needs a "best friend." I pretty much was walking around believing that since I was very young. Throughout my life, the people I thought were my best friends or could potentially be a best friend to me proved to not be that at all. Some, I thought they were my "best friends," but they only saw me as a "good friend." I realized I kept putting these expectations of what a "best friend" was on these people and kept winding up disappointed. The problem was not that I wasn't best friend material, because I was and I am, I just needed to stop searching for one. I was placing high expectations on these people I would meet and leave very little room for them to make mistakes. Put it this way, I was naturally good at friendships, but was too busy trying to force a best friend to come out of them. I needed to learn to just go with the flow and let it develop naturally. Now, I'm in a place where I feel like I have an amazing group of friends in my corner and I am happy. I don't feel I'm controlled by this idea of having a best friend, and I am able to enjoy being in friendships this way.

This same concept somewhat applies to relationships. I've pretty much been single my entire life, but was never 100% happy with being single. I always liked the idea of being in a relationship with someone, and I still do, but I had to finally get to a place where I stopped seeing it as something I couldn't live without. For the first time in 23 years of my life, I am finally happy being by myself. Not to say I am not open to dating and getting to know people, but I am enjoying this time getting to know myself a little bit better. I obviously don't expect to completely have my life together by the time I'm in a relationship. I think if you can't love a person while they're still trying to get it together, then your views on relationships and what love is might be a bit unrealistic. The point is, I'm no longer in any rush to jump into one.

Changing my perspective on these ideas has given me deeper insight into myself. The more I changed my thought process and my vision of the world, the more it began to manifest in my life. I found that I am actually much happier this way and I am truly thankful to be where I am now. 

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