Chapter 4: Decisions Made/Actions Taken

From the very beginning, Larry told Michelle that he felt she was dangerous... a beautiful, intelligent, free spirited woman, with a positive outlook on life. What he didn't see was her incompetence and selfish approach when it came to any type of relationships.

About two months after the break-up with Chase, Michelle's finances went from bad to worse. She ended up swallowing her pride and contacted her estranged Husband... the Father of two of her kids... you remember... the shoulder she cried on when "Mr. Florida" had hurt her... the one she cheated on him with. Here's some background to her estranged Husband.

Michelle had filed for divorce two years prior after her visit to Miami, but she never went to the hearing for the Judge to sign the final decree... $475.00 down the drain.

Antonio (her Husband) still had feelings for Michelle, after everything she put this man through, she was the one to call it quits and ultimately break up their family. Michelle was his first "everything." She met him when he was 21 and she was 18. She had just finished testifying against her ex... we will just call him, "Mr. Blue..." a gang member who sold drugs, carried a gun, and most of all, had started putting his hands on Michelle every chance he got. He couldn't stand his Mother and his Mother couldn't stand him. He was very insecure and felt Michelle was always cheating. At that time, Michelle was still living at home, and the truth was, her nose was so wide open behind him she literally didn't want anyone but him... but he didn't believe such a beautiful and sweet girl could EVER be faithful to him... it didn't help that he lacked respect for his own Mother. A female's first love should be her Father. A real Father will show her the proper way to love and reciprocate... same as a Mother being her Son's first love. Without the proper demonstration of the two first loves... it can and will lead to a disastrous love life.

He had started punching Michelle below the neck a couple weeks after they met. Soon the punches would be aimed higher... towards her face. One day he managed to give her a black eye. Michelle's Mother banned him from coming around, and that, somehow, was Michelle's fault from Mr. Blue's point of view.

One night, while out with a female he had been seeing on the side, he had decided that he'd try a new, stronger drug. Up until then, he had only smoked "trees." This night was different... he tried sherm. The main ingredient in sherm was formaldehyde... yep! Embalming fluid.

He paged Michelle around seven that evening. She hadn't heard from him in a few days, which she didn't care about... she was only concerned with his threats of killing her Mother if she ever left him. Yes... even though he was seeing someone else, and having unprotected sex with them both.

The page comes through. She met him outside in the parking garage of her Mother's apartment building in her house slippers with a scarf on her head. Soon as she was close enough, he started trying to punch her in her face. She was still recovering from the last black eye he had given her. She turned and ran as quickly as she could, but she was only 5'4, had on slippers, and he was 6'4. She tried to think quick. She knew she needed something between them like a barrier of sorts. So she ran to her Mother's car. He caught up to her. By now she was sweating, one slipper on, out of breath, and scared to call out for help, because he carried a gun and he could possibly kill her before help came. She weighed about 165 lbs and Mr. Blue was 260 lbs. He picked her up and sat her on the trunk of her Mother's car demanding sex, but Michelle was utterly disgusted by him at this point. She was already aware of Nicole (the female he had been seeing the last couple months). She pleaded with him to please stop. Out of breath and choking from a dry throat, she begged him to stop with tear-soaked eyes. He managed to stick his penis into her vagina. After he reached his climax he removed his penis, wiped it on the bottom of her dress, threw her broken slipper at her and left.

Feeling empty, hopeless, used, and worthless, she slowly slid off the car removed her half torn panties, grabbed her broken slipper and went inside to call the police. He had her so brainwashed that she contemplated calling the police. He had female Cousins who were in gangs, as well as the female friends in his gang that were always ready for drama... she felt that even from jail, he could still issue payback. On top of it all... there was her Mother sleeping... she was too ashamed to face her Mother as if it were her fault.

By the time she got up to her apartment door, she mustered up the courage and called the police. Her Mother wouldn't find out about this until the police came in with their loud boots and radios, which woke her Mother up. She went in her room to remove and bag-up her torn underwear, dress, and torn slippers, and head down to the police station to get a rape kit. Her Mother stayed at home. Never did she ask Michelle if she was ok. Never did she attempt to go to the station with her Daughter, nor offer any type of emotional support. To say Michelle felt alone in this situation was to say the least.

Trial comes, she testifies against him, and he was sentenced to two years in the state penitentiary, and was added to the registered sex offender's list for life. Every time he has an interaction with the police, he must tell them he is a sex offender... even if he has a lady friend with him when he gets pulled over in his car. He would also have to make sure his house isn't close to any schools. Two years in prison, yet a lifetime of being a registered sex offender.

She met her kid's Father a couple weeks later. She saw a sucker and she was ready to lick him for all he had—he was a 21-year old virgin that loved spending his time and money at strip clubs, church going, and was very close to his family. He told Michelle early on that he didn't want kids, but she thought he was bluffing. Time will surely tell all.

He did any and everything for Michelle. She felt that "Father" love (or so she thought) from him.

They started dating in August of 1998. Michelle loved what he could do for her, and how he treated her. He spoiled her. She, on the other hand, would cheat whenever she wanted. Go out to clubs and have one night stands that she would confess to, and yet he would be so forgiving.

There was even one time when she wanted to have a threesome with another female. He even went along with that. He would soon propose to her and they would get married. A beautiful wedding filled with exotic flowers, crystal wine glasses, a wedding planner, and a custom-made bridal gown. Problem was Michelle's heart wasn't in it. She was bluffing when she asked him to get her a ring. He called her bluff. He was so in love with her that it totally blinded him... but... Michelle didn't love him like he loved her. Actually he was a rebound from "Mr. Blue." She made Antonio pay for every punch and disrespectful word that ever came from Mr. Blue.

His Uncle Robert had gotten released from jail about two months before the wedding. He was in a relationship with a female who carried gin in her purse, yet would tell him she was pregnant. Antonio had asked him to be in the wedding party. When Michelle looked back at the wedding video, she noticed Robert looking at her like a lion stalking his prey. He wasn't Michelle's type though. He was about 5'7, dark skinned and weighed about 140 lbs, but he had started spending a lot of time at Antonio's house with Michelle while he was at work. They would watch porn together, and soon start having an affair. They became so sloppy with the affair that they would still have the porn playing as Antonio walked in the house. Michelle and Robert had started having unprotected sex. She started to develop real feelings for him.

Michelle had come up with a bright idea to get pregnant by Antonio... while she was having an affair. This chick always seems to orchestrate her own drama, but couldn't undo the damage thereof.

After failed attempts to get pregnant, Michelle's Sister offered her advice so that she could conceive. Her Sister told her that once Antonio ejaculates inside of her, she is to remain on her back, and have him grab her ankles and wiggle Michelles mid section. Yeah, sounds ridiculous, but oddly enough it worked, because Michelle would find out seven weeks later that she was indeed pregnant. She had crossed the T's and dotted the i's of her plan to have a baby with her Husband, but she forgot the biggest detail of it all that would cause her to have a pregnancy full of stress and worry. She thought her plan was flawless, but it was gravely flawed. Why would you plan a pregnancy while having unprotected sex with two men at the same time??

When she saw the positive pregnancy test and very first ultrasound, she had mixed emotions. Driving home from the hospital, it was as if she had an epiphany of sorts... the detail she left out of her planning to conceive was now her biggest nightmare... whose baby was she carrying? Her plans have backfired on her. Were they really thought out, or was her decision to conceive a child in an unrequited Marriage for selfish reasons? She would spend the next seven and a half months wondering whose baby she was carrying. THAT was not in her plans.

Michelle and Robert continued with the affair in spite of her Husband's (Robert's Nephew) plea for him to stop hanging out with his Wife while he was at work.

By this time Antonio had been crying on his Mother's shoulder, venting about his suspicions of Robert and Michelle's affair. His Mother had started to have a strong dislike for Michelle. Antonio's Mother made it known that she couldn't stand Michelle. Antonio was her only child and she was very protective of him, even when he became an adult.

Michelle had demanded that Antonio's Mother not be allowed in their house. She told him that if he wanted to see his Mother that he needed to visit her elsewhere. Antonio was very upset by this, however, he told Michelle he would honor her request, or rather her demand.

They had gotten Married in February of 2001. At this point, it was two weeks before Christmas of that same year. Yes, she had spent the first year of her Marriage having an affair with her Husband's Uncle. Oh, not to mention... this Uncle had molested Antonio when he was around eight years old... info that Michelle was well aware of.

Michelle had made it up in her mind that she would try and work through things. She had been out shopping for Christmas gifts for Antonio. Robert had given her an ultimatum. He told her to choose who she wanted to be with; he had started to get feelings for her. She chose her Husband... but she had no idea what would be the consequences of her decision... (To be continued).