Cheated on by First Love

"Betrayal was what I felt, my heart broken not just by a guy I was in love with, but also by, as I once believed, a true friend." -Danka V.

At the young and impressionable age of 18, being cheated on is the last thing you need. When the image of love is still magical and pure. I got the shock of my life the day I was told, my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me. Who told me I hear you ask? My best friend... who yes, knew it was happening all along. She was a mutual friend of both of ours, so I understand the situation she was put in. But it doubled the betrayal for me. At the time, I felt this was the worst thing that could have happened to me. My beautiful idea of love was broken, I was broken.

I started to think if it could have been my fault, was I not good enough? Why did I not figure it out? But most of all, WHY ME?

Being cheated on by your first love is the most frustrating thing because you never seem to forget them. There have been times where I have gone back to him to find the comfort I can't find in anyone else. But luckily, self-respect and love for myself help me make better choices now. I couldn't go back to him knowing how I felt in that moment. Being a naturally forgiving person, I have to remind myself frequently why I made this decision to stay away from him. Its hard but I'm worth more to myself, finally.

Now, at the age of 23, I find it hard to trust new people that come into my life. It is something I am working on but I'm scarred by the experience. I was humiliated and hurt, how can I get over that? But I'm moved on and trying to forget what happened. I forgave them after a while, but for myself. I needed the peace back in my life. So, the way that I found peace was forgiveness. I'm a strong believer in karma, so a lot of my worries are handed over to karma in my mind as I carry on with living my life.

You can't hold on to the pain all your life. I held onto it for years and it has meant that I have not been able to make any new friends or partners. I closed off from the world. But now I want to try and open up again. I have to trust new people in order to grow and gain new experiences. Not everyone will be the same. I have to believe that. I know I'm not the first or last person to have ever been cheated on, I feel sad for everyone that has. But for me, I'm glad it happened at that age because it matured me, I snapped out of the fairytale world of love and now will appreciate real love.

If you have ever been cheated on, I'm sorry and I hope you find better for yourself because you deserve it. Someone that can't give you loyalty doesn't deserve your love. Loyalty is important in all relationships, don't settle for anything less. I've written this post because I feel like at the time that this was happening in my life, I would have appreciated hearing another person's story rather than ways to overcome it. So, I bear a brief version of the situation I was in, to try and help you if you are going through anything similar. For you to know that someone else has been through the same. Thank you for reading.