Cheaters

It's something no one wants, even if you are one. To be cheated on is the ultimate trust breaker in a relationship. So how do we avoid that person, that situation? Well, this is the way I have found cheating to be. You either are one at heart, or you put yourself in bad situations that can be avoided.

I can personally say that I cannot be friends with every guy I meet. Would I cheat? No, I know better than to spend time with another man alone because I fear that I would develop feelings for someone else. It has nothing to do with how much I love my husband. I love him with all my heart. The two of us have both had the conversation, too. He is a semi truck driver and everyone knows how much time they spend away from home. They are known cheaters. My husband is not one—that sounds like an ignorant comment but I know him. But we both agreed we could not be left alone with anyone we find mildly attractive for extended periods of time. He has the option of a female driving partner. Obviously, he opted out because he knows better than to put himself in that situation.

Part of a healthy relationship is knowing what your partner needs. My husband needs attention and so do I. Obviously. So what happens when you don't tend each others needs? Well, cheating can happen. We're human. We need a certain amount of attention in relationships to preserve it. When we don't get it, we break up, get divorces, or cheat. Try adding life savings, kids, personal belongings, yada yada, into that equation. Are you just going to go get a divorce right then? Most likely not. I am in no way saying it is okay. I am explaining why.

I do have personal experience, though. My own dad. That is the most gut wrenching thing a kid can find out about their father that they have so much respect and adoration for. Did my parents divorce? No. I'm glad they didn't, too. My parents are an example of above. Poor communication, lack of attending needs and wants. It was the recipe for cheating. Plus, my dad was always out and about after he retired, always helping someone because he's so handy. I refused to let it alter my view of my dad even though it kind of did. It's inevitable. My mom was not the same after that. She slept in a separate room from him for months, maybe even a year. My mom is a mother of five. I have three older brothers from my mom's previous marriage. She has always been dedicated to her children and family. I always remembered going to do all kinds of things without my dad. Probably because he has 18 years on my mom, he has done a lot in his life. He wants to be home, working around the house. Maybe she shouldn't have given him as much leniency to stay home. Who knows at this point? But they are okay enough to still be together.

Maybe these things affect my confidence in my husband and I's relationship. I am very sensitive to people around me. Anyone in their right mind can read body language and be observant but not everyone does it because ignorance is an easy out. I would know if my husband was cheating. We share everything—literally down to the same drink with our meals. He knows too that if he ever cheated, I would castrate him. Whether I'm joking or not, neither one of us know. I realize, though, not everyone likes that closeness in a relationship. People do need distance, no matter how much you love them, and whether you realize it or not, you need space. Cheating is avoidable with the right amount of tending to your relationship. It's a two way street and don't ever think otherwise. If your significant other is unwilling to improve your relationship, then there is a problem. Explore your relationship in every way. Keeping love alive takes work. It does not just happen on its own.

I hope you can tell too and avoid that awful situation. Love is a worthwhile thing when it's tended to properly—don't be afraid to learn, how either. Not all gardeners have green thumbs.