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Colleague/Friend Balance. Can You Really Be Both?

I don't know but maybe someone can help!!

Do you have a work soulmate? Do you connect outside work? My work soulmate just happens to be my husband...

I recently started a new job. I have worked a lot of jobs and as of late I have decided I am going to stop trying to fit in. Last year I worked in a popular fast food chain and I found my work soul mate. I love her so bloody much! I no longer work there and yet she is now without a doubt one of my closest friends on this earth! She gets me and working with her always made shifts bearable. We had fun and we worked well together and now I am no longer there we are now family friends too. Our partners are friends and share interests and we all have a great time when together. 

I absolutely adore her children! They are cheeky adorable monkeys!! They visited just yesterday and so so love it when they do! Their middle little boy is just an hilarious bundle of fun and energy and has just the cutest smile! I have never been a kid person but as of late now I am older, my kids are getting older and I am really starting to enjoy the fun that babies/toddlers/kids have to offer! 

But then conversely, I have never really connected with people at work in the way that I normally do outside of work. My sister/best friend/Godmother to my little monkeys, she now lives in Belgium and for the first time in nearly a year, we saw each other last week. I did not count on how emotional it really was. I cried like full on buckets but it was just the best thing in the world. We will go days without speaking because even with a one hour time difference it's crazy how much things get past us.

But how common is it to really have a colleague who is a friend outside of work? I discussed this with a new colleague and we came to the conclusion that it really isn't that easy to do. 

When you spend long time together and you see the way people work, it is pretty damn hard to then build a budding relationship outside of work. Then conversely you aren't yourself when you are at work so how can you build a friendship/relationship on that? You need to be someone different at work and when you are all that way inclined you have that image and you can all work well together.

Staff bonding is always a great way of assisting friendships outside of work and I think a good friendship can be very conducive to a positive work environment. My hubster whom I actually work with gets on pretty well with everyone because he is a bit of a nutter! God love him he is not afraid to show his sense of humour yet when they see his YouTube videos they are completely amazed at how different he is and it's what got me thinking? 

How much do we really know our colleagues? How much do we want to know?

I am so confused by relationships. I am hurt by relationships formed in work.

I am ridiculously naïve and I know that now. People can be nice but what this past year has taught me it's that people are generally dicks! Where I was told I was a valued member of staff, I leave and people know the circumstances and I am the outcast. I am avoided and stared at in the street. Do you know how shit that really makes a person feel? Working my arse off to help people, not going off sick despite being at deaths door but going in because I do not want to be the one to let people down.

One time I went in late despite having running around like a headless chicken for my daughter who was unwell. Yes I got her to the doctors and still went back in despite my daughter wanting her mum because she is unwell and I am the only driver in the house if she was to go downhill.

It makes me sick how much I would do for people and now when needed, I am lied too. Manipulated and now ignored because I am no longer of any use. This has been all throughout my career and I have finally had enough. Breaking point was university placement in nursing. A lackey who bears the brunt of a disgruntled nurse who does not wish to be a mentor but needs to for registration. Apparently, I am the problem.

Where is people's compassion these days? Are we really in that much a selfish world that we will only be nice to people for as long as we need them and then when they are worn out, we throw them out like yesterdays rubbish.

It's especially shit when you are that yesterday's rubbish.

So maybe it's a good thing to not build a close relationship within work. I do not know, its six of one and half a dozen of the other. 21st century is a confusing place to live in!!

Read next: The Choice
Dawn Elizabeth
Dawn Elizabeth

I am a mum of three and I am working towards a degree in English Language and Literature. I attempted a degree in Nursing but I found I enjoyed the writing more than the nursing side.

I hope you like my writing too x


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Colleague/Friend Balance. Can You Really Be Both?
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The Choice