Common Misconception

A man who says, "I love you," can hurt you.

A woman who says, "I love you," can still cheat on you.

The word "love" holds a very different meaning now than it did years ago. Time transcends all things. It is one thing all humans fear. We rush into doing things and saying words, like love, to people without truly knowing if we mean them or not. Everyone is in a hurry.

The concept of love has become so warped that if you ask my generation what it is, or what they perceive it to be, you'll find many twisted and confusing answers. What people do not realize is that in their rush to have something oh so precious, we have tired ourselves out trying to create this adaptation of what real love should be. I too have found myself searching for my own warped reality of the truth.

And in my time as a wanderer, I have found so many truths within myself, without any words to be spoken. Yesterday, I had to let someone, I thought so fondly of, go. We spoke the words "I love you," but after I was left to pick up my broken pieces, and only then did I really comprehend that just because I loved someone, and told them so, did not mean that we were meant to be together. And somewhere within myself, I knew it too. But in my mind, I was in love, so there was no need to listen to that small infinitesimal voice in the back of my mind.

Too often do we not listen to the words we say. There is a significant difference between "I love you" and "I'm in love with you." The two have very utterly different meanings. When stating that you love someone, it means that you have love FOR them. When you are IN LOVE, the infatuation, protectiveness, and sort of obsession with that entire person's being almost leaves you short of breath—at a loss for words.

We, only being human, commonly mistake lust for love.

According to Dr. Judith Orloff and her Guide to Intuitive Healing, she states, "Another challenge of sexual attraction is learning to stay centered and listen to your gut in the early stages of being with someone. This isn't easy in the midst of hormones surging. But it's essential to make healthy relationship decisions."

More times than not, we let sex and our physical attractions trick our minds into thinking that somehow, and secretly hoping that in some way, we are in love. This kind of thinking almost always leads to heartbreak.

Now, in no way am I saying that being in love is futile or none existent, however, I am hinting that just saying the words, or moving and basing those rash decisions on emotions being passed back and forth between sheets, should not dictate if you are truly in love or not. We need to look past the initial glamour of it all. We need to pay more attention to actions and mannerisms. Not just the pillow talk or the sweet nothings whispered in ears after vigorous sex, nor the stolen kisses in corridors. Those words deserve so much more respect than that.

Sincerely,A learning woman.