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Common Misconceptions About Asexuality (Pt. 2)

A Little More to Think About

Due to the overwhelming response to "Common Misconceptions About Asexuality," I've decided that I'll continue with some of the suggestions brought up by those who've commented!

1. "How do you know you don't like sex if you've never had it?"

We've all heard this one. It's dead simple, asexuals (typically) do not want to have sex. This isn't a matter of "don't knock it 'til you try it," it's a sexual orientation that implies a lack of sexual interest. That's it.

2. "Asexuals must've been sexually abused to be so turned off/repulsed by sex."

I'm not going to say that no asexual has experienced abuse in their lifetime, because that's just inaccurate. But I will not write here that it's because of an outside influence like that, that some people turn out to be asexual. It is a common response for abuse victims to become repulsed or turned off (to put it lightly) by sex, and to them, I give my dearest sympathies. But that isn't the case with asexuality, it's not a choice and not driven from an outside influence.

3. "Asexuality stems from some mental/hormonal issue."

Nope. It's not a choice, and we're not sick. It's how it be sometimes.

4. "Maybe you're just having sex with the wrong person?"

Can't be having sex with the wrong person if you're not having sex with anyone. *finger guns* But in all honesty, the main issue with this statement is that someone assumes that an ace person is having unfulfilling sex with another person, when logically the only times an asexual will typically have sex is with someone they truly trust and care about. So, who's having sex with the wrong person?

5. "Asexuality isn't a real sexual orientation."

This one is probably the one that gets my goat the most. Enough to make me say "gets my goat" in writing. And you hear this from anyone—friends, family, and even members of the LGBT community—and it's probably the biggest blow to pride and representation there is. Now, this isn't quite the same thing as the "Asexuality Doesn't Exist" portion of my previous article. Rather, this is in the relatively common instance where it's considered, but not taken seriously. In my own personal experience: I attempted to join the LGBT+ Pride club at my university, and was rejected due to my asexuality. They stated and I quote: "I know you identify as asexual, but your aura is too straight." I also got hit with: "The 'A' stands for 'Ally.'" It's essentially a mindset of "asexuality isn't a real-enough orientation to be seriously considered." And I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this—and from the LGBT community, nonetheless.

You are all valid, no matter what.


Side note: I received a couple comments from readers that claim I isolated aro-ace folk and others, and I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart if that's the impression I gave. I myself am aro-ace and the last thing I want to do is section off the community that has welcomed me with open arms. Again, my sincerest apologies. I love you all.

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Common Misconceptions About Asexuality (Pt. 2)
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