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Confessions of an Overgrown Creep

Life lessons from a former teenage creeper.

By Jennifer TerryPublished 7 years ago 4 min read
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I have a confession. When I was 13 -- I was SUPER creepy. That's not an exaggeration. If the parents of my crushes had gotten restraining orders against me, I wouldn't have been at all surprised. I might have saved them the trouble and turned myself into the authorities for stalking and general weirdness, throwing myself on the mercy of the court. I had a super-sized, mega-crush on a particular guy. He was beautiful. Honey-skinned, chiseled cheekbones, dark curly hair, a deep-throated, husky voice that belied his age. It was love.

Despite the fact that all of our brief, infrequent conversations consisted of a few words apiece, I'd decided he was the man (boy?) I was going to marry. So, my campaign of ferocious information-gathering and stalking began. A surefire way of getting someone you love to love you back, I'm told. I figured out his class schedule and arranged circuitous routes to my own classes so that I could nonchalantly pass him in the hallway during every class change. I found his file in the front office and learned his middle name, address, and phone number. I called his house and hung up I don't know how many times. I followed him. I stared at him unabashedly across the gym. I developed an irrational hatred of any girl he dated, angrily scrawling their names over and over again in my journal along with my rantings detailing the vehemence of my hatred.

If you're thinking, that girl sounds unbalanced - you'd be correct. I was unbalanced. I had little to no social skills, a ton of anxiety, insecurity, not to mention being riddled with body image issues. I was a red hot mess, as we say in the South.

I had problems. I still have problems. I struggle with insecurities and anxiety to this day. I think many adults do. I'll never stop learning and improving. However, as I aged, I gained maturity. I learned boundaries and basic social niceties - like that lurking outside someone's classroom and waiting for them to come out like a rabid puppy dog is frowned upon in polite society. My empathy for others deepened. I learned that it's not okay to make someone feel uncomfortable anywhere but especially someplace they are supposed to be safe, like their home, work, or school. The sad thing is, I think that there are some adults out there that still haven't learned that lesson.

Example. I was at the market a few days ago. A guy was in line behind me, patiently waiting his turn like everyone else. He went to the cashier next to the one helping me and I overheard him ask her, "Is Sandra here today?"

"Uhhh..." she replied, her eyes looking past him, searching the store.

"No, she's off today," my cashier spoke up.

"Well, do you know when she'll be back?" Creepy guy asked her with a glare, standing his ground.

"I'm not sure." She turned her attention back to helping me, and Creeper finally left. Once he was gone, all three of us looked at each other with nervous smiles. I knew we were all thinking the same thing. That was creepy. I'm not sure of the relationship status between Creeper and Sandra, but what I am sure of is that you don't show up at someone's work when they weren't expecting you.

My question is, why do some adults still behave the way I did at 13? You know who I'm talking about. The ones who call and text over and over again obsessively, who stand too close, who go to someone's home or work unannounced, who stare to the point where it makes you uncomfortable, who are astounded when someone points out to them that their behavior might be inappropriate, as if it never occurred to them. If you're shy or awkward or socially anxious, I understand, trust me I do. I am all those things and more to this very day. But after high school, you can't blame it on immaturity any longer. It's just plain creepy.

I know what some people might think after hearing this story. Well, he could have been a nice guy that just doesn't know how to interact with women. Maybe he thought showing up to her job unannounced would be romantic. Maybe there was some sort of emergency. Maybe he had a rough upbringing and lost all of his confidence. Let's stop making excuses for this kind of behavior. If someone wants you to know where they are or to call them or reach out to them in some other way, believe me, they will let tell you. If they haven't, it's best to err on the side of caution and just leave them be. There's a wide world out there with billions of people, surely there's at least one that will enjoy your company. Until you find them, there's always therapy.

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About the Creator

Jennifer Terry

Wife, author, blogger, animal lover, aggressively nerdy. I live in the Atlanta, GA area with my husband and sweet rescue pup, Quinn.

https://twitter.com/terry_jenn

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