Damaged: Part 2

Will woke up alone in his room to a deadly silence. So many mornings he'd woken up in Sergio's arms, feeling his warm body and listening to his heartbeat pounding away. Now, it was just cold and quiet. It was deafening, the stillness in the air; as if he were stuck inside a vacuum with nothing but dead space. A feeling of deep discomfort overcame him, feeling as if he was the only person left in the world. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing, being all alone. The quiet stillness of his bedroom was so lonely it seemed as if he were stuck in some kind of dream or floating in limbo somewhere between the real world and his imagination. He laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling hoping he'd never have to move again. The mere thought of rising out of bed and doing something was exhausting and even sickening. He grabs his phone to check the time and sees he's missed some calls from Jessica. Ugh, he thought. Certainly by now she had heard what happened with Sergio the night before. She's trying to be his friend and provide comfort and support for him, he knew that, but it seemed impossible to talk to her at this time. He wanted to be alone and forgotten, if just for the day.

He stayed in bed for several hours, occasionally falling asleep and waking up to do nothing but play games on his phone while swiping away text notifications from friends trying to reach him, ignoring anyone who tried to contact him. It was about 3:20 in the afternoon when he heard a rustling from the living room. His mom finally woke up from her drug and alcohol induced coma, which was nothing too unusual. At that point, he figured he would get up out of bed and at least see how his mom was doing. As he came out of his room, he found her curled up on the couch fetus style, as if hiding from the world. Seemed that they had the same idea on how to spend the day. He went to shake her a bit, but she just groaned and told him go away. He obligingly brought her a tall glass of water and walked back to his room. Soon enough, she'd be up and about, getting ready to go out on the strip and hang out at bars, looking to get drunk and hook up with random men, only to regret the whole ordeal after the men leave. She'd then pass out on the couch, numbed out by all the painkillers her "doctor" so liberally prescribes her.

After watching his mother fall into this toxic cycle year after year, Will managed to follow her example down to the dot, only for him it's much easier. All he'd have to do was go on Grindr and message any guy who's horny enough. That's how he met Sergio. It's ironic, how a guy that was meant to be nothing more than a hookup ended up being the man of his dreams. Hookups like these would seldom lead to anything more, even if they'd meet up a second time. But something about Sergio, his beautiful brown eyes that glowed like ember when the light hit them just right, his magnificent crooked smile that was slightly tilted upward on the left, or his laugh that rang like a joyous tune in Will's head. Fuck, he thought, he couldn't stop thinking about Sergio and started missing him deeply. Tears came to his eyes as he seriously debated texting him, hoping that maybe there'd be a slight chance that he'd be willing to, at the very least, hook up for one last night. He heard his mom rummaging around as she got ready for her toxic night out and thought about how badly he felt in that moment. As he heard the door slam, Will grabbed his phone, overlooked all the texts and phone calls from concerned friends—mainly Jessica—and went straight for Grindr. He sighed, knowing full and well that what he was about to do was the same destructive behavior his mom consistently engaged in, and messaged the first guy that caught his eyes.