Dating a Hmong Boy

Many years ago, it was wrong to date or marry someone that isn't the same race as you. It was even considered illegal until 1967. The case that led interracial marriage to being legal was Loving vs. Virginia, when a white man and a black woman got married in 1958 and even spent a year in jail for it. Thankfully, marriage between different races are legal and in the 21st century, there are many interracial relationships throughout the world.

Well, now let's talk about my relationship. My boyfriend of almost seven years is Hmong. The Hmong people are an Asian minority group that live throughout the United States and South Asia, including Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam.

I first met Jimmy when we went to our high school orientation. My first attraction to him was our mutual attraction to Anime. Then everything else clicked from there. Now, we're both introverts so we're both kind of shy. After a few months, I was the first to confess my crush to him. At first, he rejected me and I wondered why since I thought we had a connection.

After talking to him, it turned out that he was afraid to date me because he thought his parents would hate me. Even from the start, I had a strong interest in the Hmong culture but our fears had come true. His parents came to the US from Laos and Thailand and Jimmy was the first generation of his family that was born in the US. Part of his parents' fear was that I would Americanize their son and would take him further away from his culture. Unfortunately, the Hmong culture is dying out in ways such as younger generations not know how to speak Hmong.

So to show his parents that I wanted to help motivate Jimmy towards his culture and not from it, I decided to do my graduation project on Hmong wedding traditions. I had even used his dad as an interview resource. It is actually very interesting and I have decided that when we do finally get married that we'll have a Hmong wedding instead of an American one. There are many videos on Youtube that you can search to get an idea of a traditional Hmong wedding.

Now that they have seen my interest in their culture, they actually really like me and so does the rest of his family. Well... most of them, at least. But I know once they get to know me better, they'll love me too.

Not only has being with Jimmy taught me about his culture and personality, but it has also taught me things about myself I never would have thought of. I was always a crafty person. So when I learned about their paj ntaub (embroidery), I wanted to give it a try. Now I love to do it whenever I can and it's something I want to show my children in the future as well.

Another thing I learned is how to speak Hmong. The way I learn it isn't from just reading and writing it or by listening and speaking it. I have to do both. I feel like I've learned a lot, but I know I still have a long ways to go.

So I'm not sure what the future will hold for us, but I know that whatever it may be that we'll be doing it together.

For those of you that are also worried about dating someone of a different race or ethnicity, it never hurts to see where it'll go. I never would have believed that Jimmy and I would be together this long but I can't imagine my life without him.