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Dating Disaster

Beware

By ERIKAPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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I was outside visiting a friend of mine. He was washing his car and out came his next door neighbor. “Erika this is So and So. So and So, this is Erika.” We both said the niceties that come after and introduction – “Nice to meet you.” All three of us engaged in conversation, small talk, nothing too deep. Eventually the So and So went into his house and my friend and I went into his house. Eventually So and So called my friend and asked for my number. No big deal right? He seemed cool and harmless, and he was funny. I’m all for a good laugh. Eventually he called me and asked if I wanted to get something to eat — I do enjoy eating so naturally I said yes. I met up with him and we ate and laughed, laughed and ate. I thought, “Okay, not bad. I’m not attracted to him but the conversation is flowing nicely and the food is tasty.” So we said our goodbyes and parted ways.

Date #2: He had on jean shorts (right above the knee), acid wash like, sandals, and a thick glossy knee. I’m all for de-ashing your body but did he have to use a whole container of Vaseline on his knee? I say knee because I just focused on the one knee that was closest to me saying, “Look at me! Look how thick and glossy I am.”

We made arrangements to go to a nice spot in downtown Atlanta where they had live music. On our drive to the spot I could swear I smelled a hint of alcohol on his breath (maybe he needed something to settle his nerves. I don’t know). Surely he wouldn’t have been driving me around with alcohol in his system. I got a little nervous. I just made sure that my seat belt was fastened tightly. I didn’t know if it was his driving, we were riding on hydraulics, or he needed some new shocks for his car. We did finally make it safely to the spot. Since it was loud in there he had to get close to my ear to speak. My curiosity of the alcohol breath had been satisfied. I got a good whiff of his stale alcohol breath. Yuck! He didn’t waste much time before he was trying to fill up on another drink. We hadn’t even sat down yet before he was in search of the bar. After he ordered his drink we sat down and waited for the live show to begin. The ambiance was nice —different colored walls, dim lighting, perfect temperature, not too hot not too cold. “Maybe the music will drown out the smell of his breath,” I thought. No such luck. Once the show got started he decided he had to constantly speak. At this point he is drunk, speech is slurred, and breath is stronger. I get that he had to get close to my ear so I could hear what he was saying, however, his spitty lips did not have to touch my neck when he spoke. His equilibrium was off so his nasty slobbery lips touched my neck and not ears. But it didn’t even matter. I didn’t want his lips touching anything. He even had nerve to have his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. I was bent down so far trying to get away from him that I was practically on the floor. He finally loosened his grip and I was able to enjoy the music. After the show was over, Thick Glossy Knee has sweated out the alcohol that was in his system, and we headed to my place. During our ride home he was telling me how beautiful and wonderful he thought I was. He even voiced the fact that he could see himself marrying me. Now don’t get me wrong, compliments are nice but they can become a little scary and overwhelming when too much is said too soon. “Maybe he didn’t sweat out all of the alcohol and he was still drunk,” I thought.

So he continued, “I told my mom about you.”

“Whoa! This is only our second date. Why did you do that? That’s too much, you don’t even know me,” I argued.

“Well I don’t care what you say, you are someone I can see myself married to,” he fussed.

So I said, “You are just going to disregard me feeling uncomfortable about what you said and keep going?”

He didn’t get it and continued on.

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