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Dating: To Cover or Not to Cover? Part 2

Dating With Vitiligo

By Aisha MuhammadPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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So I bet you guys are wondering whether I got a date or not, right? Well, sadly I didn't get a date... I got THREE!! *grins* If you read my first blog you know that I went in with a shield of questions, because I was determined to not only dispell this programming that has ruled my life for so long but to also raise awareness for Vitiligo. I knew that for some of those guys, I was going to be the first person they had ever spoken to who has Vitiligo so, of course, I had to do my part.

Some of the guys approached me and I approached some myself. However overall my experience on the site was a positive one. They were all receptive and polite, they were humorous and weren't thrown by the fact that I had Vitiligo, I encouraged them to ask questions, and they were grateful for the information I shared. I spoke to 40 men in total and asked them these questions:

  1. What do you think makes a girl attractive?
  2. Do you think girls with Vitiligo are any less attractive than girls who don't have Vitiligo?
  3. Would you go on a date with a girl with Vitiligo?

Now, what kind of scientist would I be if I didn't relay the data? So here are some answers I got from these lovely dudes. To protect their identities, I will refer to each guy as a number.

What do you think makes a girl attractive?

Guy1 said - "I'd say 20 percent looks. I'd personally say you need to be physically attracted to someone. A girl who has confidence makes a world of a difference. The smile and eyes are top two when it comes to looks—the main thing, though, the bit that holds your attention and gets you hooked, is the personality'

Guy15 said - "A good personality, sense of humour, confidence, making time for each other, communication, similar values, compromises, sexual chemistry, needs to be able to have a laugh, banter is key. Without that, it's just boring—may as well be single, being a spontaneous person."

Guy9 said - ''I think there are several things; looks can make a girl atractive to a certain extent. Things like ambition, confidence, and behaviour make someone attractive too."

Do you think girls with Vitiligo are any less attractive than girls who don't have Vitiligo?

Guy2 said - "In my opinion, I think girls with Vitiligo are just as attractive or even more attractive than girls without it. I think it makes them unique and stand out."

Guy10 said - "Hell no! I find them more attractive! Makes them an individual, and there ain't nothing sexier than individuality."

Guy30 said - "Definitely not less attractive, you're looking great yourself. I'm attracted."

Guy14 said - "It would be easy to say women with Vitiligo are more attractive, but I am going to put it this way, you were a person I saw online who caught my attention by talking about meditation and languages and your funky pose in your picture and you just happen to have Vitiligo. To me, your skin doesn't make you less attractive. If anything I could say, are women who don't have vitiligo less attractive than women who do?"

Would you go on a date with a woman with Vitiligo?

And for this question, there was a resounding yes. Horaaay!

So there you have it, the truth, in black and white. Now, this obviously doesn't represent all men; however, it does highlight a percentage of men that are willing and open, and see Vitiligo as something unique and beautiful. But here's the thing, the majority of these guys when asked didn't necessarily say that looks don't matter, Everybody is attracted to something and that something isn't always looks! Despite the pressure that society AND social media puts on us to "look perfect" and to "look acceptable" and everything else in-between, there are people who are now breaking away from that mold and thinking for themselves. And these are the people that love the fact that you are different. The world and men, I feel, are slowly but surely releasing themselves from these social illusions of perfection and loving women for women!

People are realising that it is GOOD to be different. In fact, it's GREAT, and a part of that greatness is Vitiligo. If the majority of the men I spoke to all said that women with Vitiligo aren't any less attractive and a couple of amazing guys said that they are more attractive, then surely times have changed, and the efforts of those fighting for inclusivity aren't in vain. Our differences are being accepted and loved and valued!

To all my beautiful women with Vitiligo, WE ARE WORTHY, and our attractiveness doesn't solely lie in our looks but our CONFIDENCE & our PERSONALITY! Stand with your backs straight, your heads held high, and walk this earth like you own it because we are ALL deserving of love and kindness. Don't let the negativity of your past taint the image of your future.

Despite this data that I've collected, I know it doesn't excuse the fact that there are men and women who will still be cruel, who will blurt out horrible things, and who will look at us like we aren't worthy of a kind word. And to those people, you have to give them the middle finger and say, "You don't define my beauty. I DEFINE MY BEAUTY." And my Vitiligo ROCKS!

- Embroidered Skin

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About the Creator

Aisha Muhammad

I am apart of a tribe that is misunderstood, we are the mystiques that walk this earth. Although you see our faces, our words and stories are still yet to be heard. Come and hear mine.....

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