Dealing with the Bull

Hi, folks! Before you start reading this, I just want to let you off the hook. This article is NOT about pretty women or basketball. So, if you looked at this picture and said "YES," understand that you may be slightly misguided by the photo.

This article is about what we have to go through practically EVERY single day. For the sake of my readership, I will avoid the use of foul language here because I honestly do not now the age of my readers and I refuse to speculate about their ages either. So, I will go on my assumptions and write away. Don't be offended.

Have you ever have a day when someone tells you something and, later on in the day or some other day, you find out that what was told to you by that person was not true at all? If you breathe air, then your only answer has to be YES. It happens to ALL of us—you, me, and everyone else on the planet. You will hear it from politicians, friends, enemies and just about anyone else who has a mouth. You will hear it from strangers and so forth. Don't get me wrong. There are SOME honest and forthright people on the planet, but there are others who are experts in the art of bull and I am not talking about the rodeo animals either. Let's call it Bull snot (or BS for short) can come from all directions.

To be very honest, I, too, have taken advantage of using BS from time to time. "Yes, honey, I think that you are the most beautiful gal here." Of course, at the time, I was looking at some woman who reminded of Vanna White, the very beautiful co-host from The Wheel of Fortune. On another occasion, I was in Atlantic City with my then-girlfriend and I was staring at a waitress who was wearing a rather skinny skirt. My former girlfriend caught me drooling at this woman. She asked me what I was thinking. I had to come up with some quick BS line. So, I told her that I thought that the outfit would look great on her. Little did I realize, my now ex-girlfriend was an expert in spotting BS. I had no chance whatsoever. So I am NOT ashamed to admit that I contributed much to the BS culture as well.

BS does have a good side. It was the reason for the creation of lawyers. It is their job to sift through the BS in a contract, for example, in order to tell the BS from the truth. Once that is done, the world can return to its peaceful mode. Lawyers have an awesome task on their hands because there is plenty of BS that they have to deal with out there.

BS is the main reason why couples find themselves dating before they get married. Dating allows the ladies to see the BS that the guy will bring to the relationship. Guys will also get to see if the gal will bring any BS as well. Sometimes, BOTH parties are slinging the pasture pies at each other. It is so hilarious when you think about it. At some point, if a guy is out of BS or if the gal has had enough, he will get on his knee and propose marriage to her. She will in turn admit to herself whether she wants to live with this BS artist or not. By the way, I proposed to my ex-girlfriends twice in my life. Now, you can see why they are my ex-girlfriends.

By the way, IF those couples decide to marry and things do not work out, it is time for them to visit a lawyer and start the divorce proceedings. Like I said, BS is why we needed lawyers. You thought I was kidding, didn't you?

Have you ever bought a car from someone in a private sale? Then, you also bought some BS, too. In fact, you can also get it from a new car dealer as well. If you do not think so, just ask anyone who bought an Edsel, Vega, or Pinto directly from a new car showroom. Yeah, those cars seemed nice, but that is where it ended. You bought some rolling BS. In 1981, I once bought a 1972 Vega from a neighbor of mine. I should have realized that something was wrong with that heap of garbage the moment I tried to drive it out of his driveway. That thing started smoking faster than a box of cigars. It burned more oil than an Iraqi oil field. For $250, I thought that I was getting a nice deal on a very used car. I should have suspected something when he threw a party later that evening and told his friends that the party was in my honor.

Used cars are just another way that people can solidify their BS and hunt for suckers who will believe in them. But, they are just a lower lever of BS artists. There is another level. It is a level that can claim themselves to be the third oldest profession on Earth. The first and the oldest profession on Earth is prostitution. What level is after prostitution and just slightly above used car salespeople? Why, the answer should be VERY obvious: POLITICIANS!!!!

Politics is the biggest purveyor of BS known to man. If you want to hear the best and latest in the form of BS, just find a politician. They can fine tune BS like no other. Some will spew just a little BS and other will spew more than humanly possible for normal humans. Politicians are the greatest producers of BS known to mankind. When I see the average politician on my TV, I can just see the stuff coming out of their mouths. How can you measure their BS? Simple. Just look to see how many campaign promises they keep. Look at how much BS they actually accomplish. It is astounding. For example, how many politicians have promised to LOWER our taxes? Many. How many have delivered? Few... very few. In short, they will use their BS in order to get the job. Once they have the job, they do not see the need to fulfill their BS... ooooops... promises to us. What are you going to do about it? Absolutely nothing at all.

BS can also appear in our daily lives. Guys, suppose your very lovely wife made a horrible dinner. What would you do? Can you imagine yourself eating it? If my wife (No, I am not married, YET.) made calamari (octopus) and I noticed that my meal was still moving on the plate, I'd calmly tell my lovely wife that I am going to take my dinner out for a walk. No need to give her any BS.

How can you avoid BS? Folks, that is very hard. I step in it quite often myself. The best way to do so is to just be very vigilant at all times. Sometimes, you can spot it a mile away. Other times, it will be up and in your face. You will just have to be aware of it the moment it becomes airborne. If you don't wish to have BS used against you, try very hard NOT to use it. In other words, be as honest as you would want them to be with you. Think of it as verbal karma.

Well, time for me to go. I need to count my millions. Then, I will wake up from my deep sleep and say "Hello" to reality.

In the BS Bar Somewhere on the Planet