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Dear Diary

I made a mistake.

By Kyia BPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Dear Diary,

It’s the month of March and I finally can say that I started my morning with a good and clear head as well as did my meditation. This is the first in many months of that I have been able to focus on getting my day started and not just going through the day with getting myself together. I decided to wear my hair in a ponytail due to me always wearing it down. Thought I would change it up for a bit. I felt really... really good.

Work was crazy! So many clients we have signed to the agency and I was the only one in the office who had more clients signed up. I have to say diary, I was having a pretty good day. At lunch, I finally had the chance to talk to Sam about his new band that he is starting up. I think it's pretty cool of him and the fact that he really can play the drums, which has always been my dream! I finished up the end of my day by playing a game of solitaire. Shoot! All of my work was prepared, signed and delivered, so nothing wrong with a little game time.

Then it happened. My heart started beating fast. My hands had become sweaty. I began to feel like everything and everyone around me was a blur. I saw him, diary. Brian. The man that I had loved since I was 16. The man who I dated and fell in love with while being together for three years. The man who I was supposed to have married and have kids with. The man who broke my heart and lied to me. He was standing at the bread shop, across from me at the salad cooler, looking fine like wine, and he had matured in the face. He still had that watch on that I bought him for our first anniversary and he smiled with the biggest kid-like smile. I wondered if he was alone. I didn't stand too long for I didn't want to be seen.

As I pulled up, I sat in my car and a sense of confusion, sadness, anger came over me and I busted out crying! I honestly thought I had my all dreams come true with Brian. I was for sure that he was the man for me and that every planned we had written out, I was sure it was going to come true, and our lives were going to change forever. I was wrong. I couldn't get the one thing out of my head: his lie. The lie he told me about not applying for that tech job out the state and getting it. He said he loved me! I believed him! I felt like he didn't care for me or our future. I cursed him out. Screamed. Yelled. I gave him every emotion.

He left. Never came back for the rest of his things. Just took a bag of clothes and was gone. Now I feel like I made a mistake. It's been six months. Did I make a mistake diary? Should I have just let him move to Texas, and we just have a LDR? Or should I have just moved with him, and still get my dream come true? I'm lost diary. I've been trying to get him off my mind, and now I can't. Did I make a mistake? I think I made a mistake. I made a mistake.

breakups
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About the Creator

Kyia B

Jesus is my best friend.

I am the founder of Mental Is Life

2Mental Health Disorders: Depression&ADD.

Writing is my getaway.Join me on this journey.

Connect with Me:

IG:MentalIsLife

Snapchat:KayeBlessed

Twitter:KayeBlessed

Youtube:KyiaSada

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