Dear Diary,

Lately I’ve been on this emotional roller coaster about dating and relationships. One month I’m like, "Okay, I’m going to date, and just meet men and enjoy outings with them, and indulge in good, intellectual conversation." The next month, "Nope. This is not going to work for me. It just may not be my season. I really need to focus on my business and myself, and continue to just enjoy being single. The man for me will come.” Back and forth, up and down, I’m constantly giving myself a headache. I go on dating sites and then become bored, or a man has contacted through the dating site messages, yet when given my number, my phone is drier than Popeyes biscuits.

I’ve been going through a phase, and I’m thinking, maybe my age has a part to do with it (you know that great big milestone is coming, but that will be another entry for another day), maybe the fact that my lifestyle has changed (getting closer to God, letting Him lead me) or the fact that my tolerance level and patience and bull crap radar is very low and I don’t have the energy for nonsense. Look, it’s not that I don’t want a relationship and to be in love, but I’m not willing to waste my time, and I have already wasted plenty of ample time dating in my 20s. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that no man is perfect, and flaws are acceptable, it’s just at a certain point in life, a man should want more out of life, and bring more into life and not stay stagnant in one place.

Some of these men talk crazy and play crazy. They will approach a woman in the finest designers, and iced out, but once they have the woman to themselves, the picture they painted was fake and just a set up. They want a woman to just accept them for who they are, and they don't have to change, because whatever she tolerate in the beginning, she to keep tolerating throughout. Not me. Not I. Hell, even their own momma wouldn't deal with their crap, so why should I? I’m better staying single, with a dog, living in a condo.

Then there is the fact that I go to church. Apparently serving God is foreign to some, and the fact that I would rather wait until marriage to have sex, is just unheard of, with a woman my age. Why is sex so important? Do men not know that it is a want and not a need? Sex isn't what keeps a relationship going, because when you become 80, you ain't gonna be putting it down like you did at 50. What harm will it do in getting to know someone for who they are, what they do, what they bring to the table, and their character? NONE! Yet a man would rather hop in the sack with a woman without knowing her middle name, and then cry how no good women are left, *rolling my eyes*, BOY BYE! It’s annoying and I’m annoyed.

I have to give up. I just want to give up. I want to just travel, and work on my businesses, and keep getting closer to God. I want to enjoy my friendships and build new friendships and indulge in loving life. I feel nothing is wrong with that. Mmmm. I guess only time will tell. In the meantime and the between time, I’ll be writing on my blog, creating a new business, serving in church, and just doing me.

Catch you later diary.