Dear Ex #3

Hello everyone, I hope y'all had an awesome Thanksgiving! I spent my first holiday in my new home that I bought with my partner in September and I couldn't be more grateful for us being able to spend the day together.

In other news, I finally have put together my last letter of my Dear Ex writings that I felt would really aid me in putting all of the past behind me for once and for all. If you wish to delve into my last letter, please read on!

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Dear Thierry,

We did not know each other for long at all but you came into my life at one of my lowest points. What I did not know was how much you were struggling with your own day to day demons as well. We did not realize it then, but now it's as clear as day... we thought we could fix each other strictly through infatuation.

We thought if we made one another feel wanted, feel desired, that we would somehow heal all of the wounds that others had impressed upon us. I do not want to go to in depth with your struggles and the betrayal you faced because those are words that should be spoken by you and should come out of your own journey to showcase your own truth. But what I will say is this: I appreciate you. I respect you. And with the time I've had to really think about everything, I understand. The walls you put up between us make so much sense because I put up my own at times as well.

I want to say thank you for saving me that summer before my senior year of college. I had nowhere to go and nowhere to stay. You really showed me kindness with no strings attached. For the first time, I met someone who did not expect something from me just because they decided to do something nice for me. I really appreciate that. If it weren't for you, I would've been homeless... I was ready to camp out and live in my car and you helped me steer clear of doing so. I will always be thankful for that. And again, it's crazy because we had not known each other for long but you still treated me better than people I have had in my life for years. You treated me better than people who claimed to love me or people who claimed to be my best friends. You gave me faith and hope in the human spirit again so once more thank you so much.

We thought we needed each other to heal ourselves but what we failed to realize was that we really needed autonomy. We needed to work on ourselves and find the answers to all of the questions of pain, deceit, and despair before we could ever fully love one another the way we so very much thirsted for.

Of all of the endings I've had with other partners, yours was the most cordial and gentle. We both expressed our failures and our hang-ups but we also applauded one another for trying anyways. We both jumped off of a cliff knowing we were going to crash and that there would be no way to prepare for the impact but hell we tried! That's more than most people would ever do. We faced the fear and stood in the truth that we weren't ready and we needed to build and complete ourselves. We needed to, for once, put ourselves first.

Thank you for showing me that putting myself first and looking out for myself was not only the right thing to do but the best thing I could do. If that in and of itself is the only reason that we were meant to be a part of each other's lives, I feel like we both won in the end.

Take Care,

Kendra