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Dear Future Husband

Thank You

To the man that I love with all my heart,

Thank you. Thank you for everything you have done for me and for my child. I don't know how many times I will say thank you just to make sure you understand how thankful I really am. (It will probably be a thousand times a day or maybe even a minute if possible.)

A month after I turned 20-years-old I got pregnant with a precious little boy. I wasn't with the father of my child because he flew the second I told him I was pregnant.

March 5, 2017, I found out I was pregnant. My stomach dropped when all five tests came back positive. I didn't know what to do. All my plans had changed. I couldn't go to the university I wanted to anymore, I had to work overtime to make ends meet... and I was barely able to do that.

Then April 28 you came along... I didn't want to get close to you. I thought it was just a hookup. I didn't want to get close because I didn't want anyone walking in and out of my son's life and mine. I didn't want anyone hurting him like his father did by denying him. But I fell for you and you stayed.

You were there for me throughout my entire pregnancy and even to this day, you are here. You helped me through the labor and went through hell with me even though you didn't have to. You said that yourself. You dealt with bullshit for me and with me even though you didn't have to. You stayed and I have no idea why. But what I do know is that I love you with all my heart and I hope you never forget that. I am so thankful for you.

There are some days that I question why you are still with me. I have a baby that isn't yours but you take care of him as if he was. Some days I try to convince myself that you are just here for a moment and will be gone the next moment. But that can't be true because it's been over a year and you haven't gone anywhere.

We fight like a married couple but that's okay because everyone goes through that. We disagree with each other a lot but we agree with each other more. (Thank god)

You deal with my anxiety attacks and my random bursts of anger when I'm stressed. I don't know how you do it because every other guy has walked out in those moments. I'm crazy and I know that and I don't mean to be but you deal with it.

We may have people who don't want us together for all kinds of reasons but I believe in us and I know that you believe in us. As long as we both believe in each other, our relationship... then everything will be okay and we will show the rest of the world we can make it. We don't need those other negative people in our life.

One day we are going to be in our dream house, building our careers more and more by the second, and hopefully adding another bundle of joy, when the time is right of course. But I dream of that day every day. Though we are only in our early 20s... I still know our life is going to be perfect by the time we are in our early 30s. Goals. Relationship goals. Life goals. Family goals. I am so excited to see what the rest of our life has in store for us.

I never believed in a fairy tale... until you came along. You are my best friend, the love of my life, and I don't want anyone else. I hope you feel the same.

I can't wait for the day I can call you my husband...

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