Dear, Future Husband

I can remember the first night I met you. Funny, my head wasn't all the way there. It was in the clouds, high on my new found freedom. I remember you were the life of the party, the one making everyone laugh, the one holding an adventurous spirit between your teeth. At the time I remember thinking he'd chew me up and spit me out, better steer clear of him. As time went on you seemed to be always there, playing video games on the couch, filming at the skate park, talking to me at that lame party I got dragged to and I grew to call you a friend.

You were the first I'd ever willingly shown my art to, I remember you saved it as your phone background and immediately I was taken with you. I thought you were so cool, now I know you’re just a ball of sarcasm and dark jokes with a soft spot for me. I won't get into our history because none of it matters now, what matters is that in the past few years we've lived and loved together, I've never been happier.

You are full of broken pieces but so am I and together we just sort of fit, making something full and complete and wonderful. In a way, I think that's what love is, finding that one person who has all the missing pieces you never knew were gone, then one day the pieces come back to you and you just know, that’s your someone.

There was one moment I remember that changed my mind about you forever, you went from being that guy who seemed to drift in and out of my life faster than I could form a thought, to being someone absolutely irreplaceable to me. After four months together you finally did something that I never knew I needed or was even looking for but since then my life has never been the same. Everything I was and am fell to pieces and was rebuilt happily in the moment you told me. When you said the words you never say to anyone. On the day, at 1:45, when you told me you loved me.

I know I tend to overly romanticised things but in that moment I fell from the sky, my body no longer touching the hollows of my mind. It sounds so dramatic but I fluttered with ecstasy. My soul was yours, forever and completely yours. Nothing else is around me, only you. Gravity wasn’t holding me to the earth anymore, it was you. You steadied me, grounded me, you held my heart in the cradle of your strong hands.

Every day I love you more and more and it overflows constantly from my thoughts and words and actions, and my darling it will never stop. To hold such power, such influence over another can be a terrifying thing but you handle it with such grace like it’s second nature. You know my inner most workings and you've seen what lurks in my shadows, yet you love me all the more. You love my anxiety, you hug my depression, and you put a pin in my over thinking. I know it overwhelms you but I know in my heart and can feel it dwelling in my veins you are my someone, it's forever been you.

My darling, someday I hope you find this. That it makes you smile and that it tells you how adamantly I adore you. An adoration I've never had for another. Until the end of time I shall adore you and if one day I am no longer the moon you crave amongst all the stars in the sky, I will still adore you. You are my piece of eternity, my heart, it beats for you.