Dear High School Senior Boyfriend

Dear High School Senior Boyfriend,

It's so weird that we started dating back when I was a senior. I say "back when I was senior" like it was forever ago, but it was only last semester.

But last semester does seem forever ago.

It seems forever ago because we've made so many memories since then; we've taken trips with both of our families, had sleepovers at each other's houses, gotten in fights, and you even helped me move in to my dorm.

Move in. My dorm. It was freaky three months ago, it's still freaky to me now.

You helped me move into the building that keeps me away from you. The building that you can't come into because my campus has a rule against minors entering the residence halls. A rule that puts a damper on our relationship.

Some of my friends ask me if it's weird that I'm dating someone a full year younger than me, to which I reply that it's not. But other friends of mine ask me why I keep you in my life even though I moved away. Just because I moved away doesn't mean my feelings for you went away. If they didn't go away, there's no reason to break up.

There are people who choose not to break up for that same reason: still having feelings for one another. These feelings are strong, these feelings are love. But distance puts a strain on love. Strain requires coping.

There are people who use cheating as a coping method, instead of just ending their relationship. They claim they love their boyfriend/girlfriend too much to end their relationship. How could you love someone enough to cheat on them?

You can't.

I've seen girls—and guys—on campus who cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends from back home—no matter how far "home" is. I've heard them brag to their new friends about it, knowing that their boyfriends/girlfriends will never find out. I've heard them say how much they love their boyfriends/girlfriends, but why would they cheat if they truly love them?

I've seen these people cheat. I've told you about these people who cheat. And you were scared that I would cheat.

There are people who ask me if I will. People telling me that it wouldn't matter if I did since you don't live here. People try to push me into doing what you fear.

But I wouldn't. I couldn't.

I love you too much to do that. I couldn't do that to you.

You can't.

But that's not what I'm writing to you about.

I'm writing to you because I miss you. I miss you and I love you. It's so hard to be away from you. I went from seeing you everyday, seeing you at school and at our houses. We did everything together. Now, I have to plan out everything to come home and do things with you. Even going to the mall with you requires planning. I can't just go over to your house anymore.

I have pictures of you hanging up all over my walls, you're my lock screen, you're even my watch face. You're my number one best friend on Snapchat. You're the person that Siri suggests I send a text to whenever I pull down on my screen.

I talk to you all the time.

But you still feel so far away.

Your school and work schedule counters with my free time, so I can't come home to see you.

I'm gone most weekends, so we can't go on dates.

Thanksgiving Break feels so close, but that is more than likely the next time I'll see you, so it also feels so far away.

It's so rough being away from you.

But I won't be like everyone else.

I can't.

I love you.

I miss you.

From,

Your College Freshman Girlfriend