Dear, J (Part 1)

Dear J,

When we met each other through the video game known as League of Legends, you added me because I had a girl name. But I had a boyfriend that time. So I didn't give any thought to you. We both lived our own lives where neither of us were of any importance. I didn't know back then that you would become a very very important person to me now.

I heard that you were looking for a girl to give your heart to. But I was loyal to my boyfriend back then.

Then you had courage to ask for my Snapchat. I gave it to you without any thought because at that time, I wanted to make new friends. But I was still loyal to my boy back then. We didn't talk, for another few months. And then you had a song from a Korean drama, Goblin, which I was also watching at the time. But I didn't remember how I had you as a friend. I completely forgot who you were.

That's when we started talking. As friends. I was having a hard time with my boyfriend. But don't assume that I was cheating on me in any sort of way. I was loyal to my boyfriend back then. We just talked as friends. Obviously I talked to my e-boyfriend (LDR-sorta) more than I talked to you. We went for weeks without talking because we were just friends.

But on May 2018, we decided to hang out with our friends for the first time. You invited your best mate and travelled far to my area just to hang out. I felt happy that you made so much effort just to see some random girl. I didn't know back then that you had a small crush on me. I told you, I was loyal to my boy back then so I didn't care about anything else. It was awkward. I tried my best to make it not awkward but you noticed my efforts. You looked cute but I didn't see you in that way. You lost your wallet and you decided to not spend any care to find it. But because I was a tight-bum with money, I was more worried about it more than you. Like, how can a person not even care about finding his wallet? You had money in it. Eventually, a nice janitor found it and you got it back. Did I impress you? I was just being a nice friend to you.

Then my 18th birthday came around, and I invited you to come. You were being moody and created an obvious excuse not to come to my birthday. I got mad at you because of that. You were a close friend to me but you didn't even want to come to my special birthday. Your friends came though. But we stopped talking after that. You blocked me in everything, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook. I didn't know why. I've always thought that it was my fault. But I didn't care because it felt like I didn't lose anything even though deep down I did care.

Months later and it was a new year... That's when everything changed.

[End of Part 1]