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Dear Mother

A mother's love transcends...

By Pandora BanisterPublished 7 years ago 5 min read
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8/14/16

Dear Mother,

I know we haven’t spoken in a while and I know that I’ve treated you very badly, but I feel that you should understand why. You should also know that this is the only autobiography I’ll ever write and that you’ll ever read.

The place I should start off is when I was diagnosed with cancer. Terminal. I never wanted you to know because I didn’t want you to worry. It came as a shock to me at the very beginning. The fact that I had cancer, it was scary. I started my chemotherapy almost right away. It eventually caused me to develop a phobia of needles. I was so scared of the thought of seeing that needle poking into my skin. It hurt; not a lot, but it hurt.

After some time, my hair fell out. I wore a beanie all the time. On one of my checkups, the doctor said that the cancer cells weren’t disappearing like they wanted. He said my only hope was to continue chemo and just hope that I would eventually start doing better. I didn’t want to hope, I just wanted the pain to go away. I wanted to be rid of that needle. I wanted to grow my hair back so that I wouldn’t always be wearing a beanie. I told him to just quit on the chemo, that I wanted to be dead anyway. That’s what I wanted: I wanted to die so that the pain would finally stop. He said I’d be dead within a couple months.

After that, I started cursing at you when you called. I wanted to push you away so that you wouldn’t worry about me. I didn’t want you to suffer from the fear of when the end would come. That’s why I pushed you away. I didn’t want to see your sad, forlorn face if you came to visit. I didn’t want anyone to visit or pity me. I wanted to be left alone.

The pain became too great to ignore until the end, so I found a substitute for the end. That night, I climbed to the roof of my apartment building. I was going to jump. They’d say on the news that a young cancer patient jumped to his death. I climbed up and sat on the ledge, but her voice came from nowhere and stopped me from jumping. This girl, around my age. Blonde hair, brown eyes. This pretty little thing just appeared out of nowhere, questioning what I was doing. I turned back around, ready to jump. And I would have, were it not for what she said.

She explained that you, dad, Sabrina, all of my loved ones would be so upset if I just left. That you all would want to die too. That woke me up. I was so focused on wanting to end my life, I didn’t stop to think about anyone else. Or, maybe, I didn't want to think about anyone else. I was just so focused on me. She told me that it would all get better, and it was enough to get me down from the ledge and stop my attempt.

Her name’s Lacey, and it turned out that she’s a cancer patient too. Her hair was a wig. She’d also attempted to jump too, but she actually jumped. She landed on that awning thing over the building’s front doors. A few people ran up to her when she got down from it and asked if she was okay. That was what woke her up, that even strangers would care about her life, and it inspired her to live. Just like how she inspired me to live.

After that, we would meet up on the roof of the building again and talk. We’d talk about how our days went, our aspirations, how life was going, how our chemo treatments were. Yeah, she inspired me to go back onto the chemo. She said that she wanted to be a makeup artist, that Talia (the little makeup artist YouTube girl with cancer) inspired her to want to be a makeup artist. I told her of my dream to become a writer. So I guess this little autobiography I’m sending you is the first step.

Eventually, we started dating. Our first date was a movie; we watched Kung Fu Panda 3. She’s the perfect girl for me. She’s funny, kind, pretty, and understanding. After talking with her for these couple of years, I’ve fallen in love with her, and I know she’s fallen in love with me too. I can see it in her eyes. Her eyes light up when she sees me, and I’m sure my eyes light up when I see her.

So I guess that there’s only one question that’s swimming around in your mind as you’re reading this: why have I decided to write to you now, after all these years? Well, there’s a very simple answer to that, and it’s in two parts. Remember when I told you that she inspired me to go back on the chemo? Well, after about five years, I am now cancer free. That’s right, now you don’t have to worry. I broke down in tears when the doctor told me. Lacey is now also cancer free, and I hugged and kissed her when she told me. I couldn’t have been happier, except maybe after the second part of this explanation.

I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. We’re getting married in just a couple of months now, and this is not only my autobiography; it’s your personal invitation. And let me take the liberty of saying I’m sorry for how I treated you, and that I hope to see you at our wedding. It’s in Los Angeles, at the Cathedral of our Lady of Angels, and the reception is at Legendary Park Plaza. The wedding is on December 14th, and the ceremony is at 4 pm. I really hope to see you there, mom. I haven’t said it in a while, but I love you. I can’t wait to see you again, and I know you’ll approve of Lacey. I guarantee it.

I love you.

Love, Michael

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About the Creator

Pandora Banister

My dream is to follow in Stephen King's footsteps. I love horror movies, Creepypasta, reading, writing, drawing, daydreaming, and sleeping.

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