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Dear Mr. Suitman

A Story About First Love and Heartbreak

Taking My Compliment too Far

September 6 was the day I fell for you. I remember our relationship starting as quickly as it ended. We weren't together for very long and yet, you left tracks in my heart. I met you my senior year of highschool in gym class. You were dressed up in a suit the day we met so you could retake your senior pictures. I remember feeling the pressure of a crowded gym room, then I saw your face. You weren't the guy that was like known to be dripping with good looks and yet, I saw you and my heart stopped. I made up excuses just to talk to you and I remember you telling me I'm just so easy to talk to. Like you have known me your whole life. You were the first guy to ever say that to me. We enjoyed hanging out together. I know why the relationship ended. It was because of me but, for the longest time I tried to make things right and to get back with you. It didn't really work though. You seemed to like me again but kept pulling away as your feelings started to show. Sometimes I wonder what you think about me? After all, I was like your first real girlfriend. Even though you probably don't want to think about me, I'm sure you do. I think about you sometimes. Not because I miss you now but, because you really appear in my dreams a lot. It is usually a dream about you lecturing me on how to improve myself in a relationship. Which is honestly the last thing I want to hear from you. Regardless, it is just a dream. Funny thing is after we broke up and I gave you a compliment that you look good in a suit, you basically started to wear one all the time. Then I asked you to prom and you told me it would be your honor to go to my prom and yet, you changed your mind. You lashed out at me one day saying that I reminded you of the old you but that version is dead now. I remember sobbing later that day in the bathroom and skipping my classes. It just hurt so much to hear you put me down in front of everyone. You called me a liar and a bunch of other names. The only time I ever lied to you is when I told you I no longer had feelings for you. Even though you did hurt me, I still found the need to talk to you. I still found myself searching for you. My friends make fun of you for always wearing that suit of yours in high school, which did help ease the pain. When we finally graduated, we were accepted into different colleges. Which I was glad for because it did help ease the pain. Then as if fate has a cruel sense of humor, you transferred to my college. You then came up to me with a smile on your face as though you forgot the way you lashed out at me and asked me how I was. I said good. I gave a short responses as I felt my heart beating out of my chest. Even after all this time you have a certain way of getting to me. I guess it is because you were the first love of my life. It's just a feeling that never truly goes away, it just gets easier with time. Sadly for you though, I moved on and got my heart broken again. Guess third time's the charm? 

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