Dear Survivor

Dear Survivor,

I’m here to tell you that you are totally not alone.

I know the narcissist hurt you to your core. I understand how you can feel so alone, unworthy, and downright un-loveable. But I’m going to tell you that you are none of those things, for you are glorious. You are amazing just the way you are, so don’t ever change yourself for someone else.

The person meant for you will love you just the way you are and the narcissist was not your person.

But your person will come.

You survived! Which makes you pretty bad-ass.

I’m also here to tell you that you need to let go of the pain. And... as much as this is gonna sting a little... you need to forgive the asshole that hurt and abused you.

Now, let me explain to you why this step is so very important... because forgiveness is for you, not them.

Forgiveness helps you move on and helps your energy vibrate on a higher level. Forgiveness eventually brings you peace.

There is a difference between pain and suffering. Pain happens. We all feel pain at some point in our life and we have zero control of when pain is going to come our way. Suffering is a choice. Suffering is your choice. You can choose to suffer and stay stuck in your pain and suffering or you can forgive and move on.

This is why forgiveness is so essential to our healing process.

You’ll find yourself breathing easier. You will find those panic attacks will become less and less. The thoughts of your tormentor will start to disappear and you will start to become whole again.

You will vibrate on a higher level and eventually, this brings you peace and happiness, because as you're vibrating on a higher level, you put out to the universe and the universe responds with great things to come.

And isn’t that what we as survivors want?

There is peace and happiness that will come your way if you will it.

I promise you that you will find the right person for you. You won’t be alone. You won’t feel alone. You will feel whole, beautiful, worthy, and loved in due time, if only you put in the work for it.

Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Breathe in and breath out. Take time to find yourself—the you that you were before the narcissist entered your life.

There is peace at the end of this rainbow.

If you can... go no-contact with the narcissist for silence is all they hear. It’s also what starves them. Let them starve.

If you need to get your feelings out of your head, write to me instead, and I can help you through your pain and suffering.

Or you can do as I do and write about your experiences with narcissistic abuse. This can be both healing for you and for other people.

It helps others to know that they are not alone in this narcissistic abuse cycle and it validates both you and other survivors like you.

And validation is so important for us after we have gone through this kind of abuse, because we NEVER got validation from the narcissist.

I’m not sure who the author of this quote is but I believe it’s worth sharing. And I will close this letter to you with this:

“You are not your abuse. You are not what they did to you. You are not your trauma. You are the cleverness that survived. You are the courage that escaped. You are the power that hid and protected a tiny spark of your light. And you will fan that spark into a bonfire of rage and love. And with it you will burn all their lies and abuse to ash.”

'Til Next Time,

Elisabeth