Dear, Whoever Will Listen

A letter to anyone who will listen.

I'm always very shocked when I find out somebody likes me. I just recently found out that someone that I have known for YEARS has had a crush on me... well, pretty much this whole time. The last time I saw this person was when I went with his family (who, by the way, are very good friends of mine, it’s also how we met) to meet him and a few of his friends at a ski lodge. His dad sent us down to the van to get something, and we sat and talked for a little while, then he invited me to kiss him.

I didn't really think anything of it, I just thought maybe he had been drinking a little bit before that, and I know some people, when they have been drinking, itch to kiss someone. I got in the back with him and did, in fact, kiss him. I was beyond nervous because I've had a thing for this guy for a while too, and it was awkward. He just thought that it was because we had known each other for so long, but I knew it was my fault.

He and his brother recently bought a home and I congratulated them both on Facebook and a few days later he messaged me (we'll call them Jason and Jacob): "Thanks for publicly congratulating Jacob and I," and we talked for a little while.

The next night, he messaged me again, asking why I was awake so late. Again, we had a little bit of a conversation before he asked me if I would be willing to try another kiss the next time we saw each other. I told him I would, and he informed me that he has had a crush on me for a while, but when he met me, I had a boyfriend.

I was surprised, but it explained why, after we had met, he only ever talked to me when my boyfriend at the time wasn't around. It also explained him wanting to kiss me at the ski lodge. We have been talking for a little while every day since then, and I have to say, he is surprisingly sweeter than I thought.

He is very well-read, intelligent, kind, and a hard worker. I'm not kidding about the hard worker part. He climbs cell phone towers, and I don't know if you realize this, but that's dangerous work. The problem with Jason and I being together, or friends with benefits or whatever he wants (I’m pretty flexible and accommodating), is that, sooner or later, his family is going to find out.

Not that that’s a bad thing, per se, because they already love me, but if he and I stop seeing each other and they find out we no longer see each other…Well, you can pretty much imagine all the possible ways that could go.

I would very much like to date this man. Or be with him in any capacity he so chooses. Although I must admit, all I can think about lately is being his girlfriend. Playing video games with him or just hanging out on his bed.

I don’t know how to explain the things that I imagine doing with him, but just know that he has had my attention for a long time. “Time only makes the heart grow fonder”, he said. And while my heart hasn’t necessarily grown fonder, my affection for him hasn’t gone anywhere.

Anyway, I suppose I’ll let you go now. I imagine you’re tired of listening to my ramblings. Thank you very much for your attention.