Denial

If someone says they love you, why is it so hard for them to be with you?? They move on without any doubt, you feel the hurt so deep. This is the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and he/she was the first person you felt actual love with? You dodged every person for them, because you figured that they deserved all of you, now that you think back it was hard for that person to come directly to you. You began to try to piece together puzzle to figure out went wrong, soon enough you conclude that it was your fault, and that everything you have every done didn’t make them stay. You wonder if you weren’t beautiful enough or even handsome enough for that person.

Even though both of you made mistakes in the past, but when the both of you decided to get together you did everything you could to respect the relationship, which included not texting anyone outside of your family and the 2 other friends you had, literally. You should have known that when he was texting his ex and argued up and down how it didn’t disrespect the relationship or even you, that he/she had backup plans. You question if you know what love is, or does it matter. Every time you try to explain why you are so hurt they say, “It’s not all about you.” Or “I am hurt too.” Makes no sense, right? The selfishness and immorality of a person can make you wonder if there are people with common sense or dignity. As he/she uses the past to show that the relationship will not work… valid reasons, but they made mistakes just as you, you still see the good in them. You have cried so much that it became a routine. They always say that they don’t want any more lies right before they tell you a lie, not to your face, but through a text. Not bold enough to communicate in person so they hide behind a phone screen so the truth that you speak doesn’t hurt them as much.

Maybe a more valid reason for them not wanting to be with you could have been that you took a break to focus on your mental health, although you clearly said, “I want to get back together, I just need to get my mind back.” As known before they have already moved on, so when you move on, it is a problem, and he/she assumes that you have been talking with this person while you both were together, or you wanting that person been a process. But you clearly have been fighting for the relationship, showing them that you are willing to give your all and all the time you can give.

This is emotional abuse. You realize that all of the drainage you have endured was not worth it. So, you don’t get angry about their new relationship anymore. You become immune to their foul ways, without it causing you to break down. Even their irrelevant and ignorant ways and words don’t phase you. Eventually you will realize that love is patient and that everything you have to give, someone will appreciate it. The theory is, if something wants to reconnect it will, that is how the universe works; you get out what you put in. It is up to you to make the right decisions and make sure the person you reconnect with is the person you want in your life. It is not hard to find but take a leap of faith and continue to see good in people who are good people.